“I have a plan.”

It may not seem like much but being able to say those words when things get rough is a help to me. When things are scary or money is tight, being able to look at what is going on and what I have to work with and say “I’ve got a plan” actually makes it easier for me to say what is wrong. I am not a person who likes to admit when things are hard or difficult. To me, admitting that means I screwed up somewhere along the way. My planning wasn’t perfect; I did not account for every contingency like I “should have”. “Should” is my four-letter word. I curse myself with “should” and “should have”.

I should have thought of that.

I should have planned better.

I should have seen that coming.

I should have said/done this instead.

I should have known better.

This is my constant battle, even now at forty. I have let go of some “shoulds” but others, particularly those shoulds that come with what I have deemed my responsibilities, those are much harder to vanquish. But this…this is one weapon that I do have in my arsenal.

“I have a plan.”

Yes, things are tight right now but I have a plan to help make our meal and oil stretch.

No, we did not expect this, but I have plan for us to get through it.

Yes, this will set my original plan back a bit but it can work; it just needs patience and consistency.

I am so thankful that God has given me this rope to hold on to. All my life, I have been a planner, a 100-steps-aheader, a see-the-end-of-the-road-before-I-starter. Sometimes it leads me to trip into overthinking and spiraling, but, in times such as these…I can more readily see why it was built into me from my mother’s foundation and nurtured by natural inclination.

It’s God’s hand on my shoulder reminding me, “I have a plan, sweetheart. Here’s what you can do with what you have in the meantime.”

Is it easy? No. Is it fun? Absolutely not. But it can be done. It takes grit, creativity, and a teeth-clenched determination to say “not right now” to all I want in the world sometimes…but it can be done.

I have a plan.

So when you are in those hard places, those scary places where you just don’t know how you will get through…maybe this might work for you, too, Dear Reader. Maybe it might be just 10% of a plan but nonetheless that is a start! It can be the lamplight thrown on the very next step.

Don’t be afraid to have a cry if you need, to then take in that deep breath, and ask God to show you what the plan is. It may not be perfect, it may not be easy, but you can do it, even if you need to pause every now and again to cry and breathe. I believe you can. I have faith in you.