candles

What is Saving My Autumn Life

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Fall Romance Novels ~ I have fallen absolutely in love with Autumn-set romances and romantasies this year. Over my Fall Break week, as I healed from a wisdom-teeth surgery, Lyra Parish’s Fall I Want became everything to me. All I wanted to do was curl up in the recliner with my pumpkin blanket, a cup of coffee, and my cat Jack and read this heartwarming, sweet love story. Fall is my favorite season, and the warmth that exudes from these books is such a soul-soother. Also on my TBR this season are: Must Love Libraries and Libations by Maisy Magill, The Autumn Leaf Bookshop by Kay Michaels, Kindling by Bonnie Woods, and Uncharmed by Lucy Jane Wood.

Kpop Music ~ Thanks to a dear friend and the sheer golden enjoyment that is Netflix’s Kpop Demon Hunters, as well as my existence as a lifelong boyband girl, I have fallen in love with Kpop music. My particular group is Ateez. Their songs make me bounce and sing and smile, and that is always something I treasure. I love to sing, I love to dance, and I love when music makes my body so happy that I just have to bounce. It has been an absolute mood-saver throughout my healing process.

Fall-scented Candles ~ I always stock up on my fall candles, and my house constantly smells like pumpkin-something these days. It is part of my transference routine when I get home, lighting a candle before I head upstairs to change clothes. That way, when I get back downstairs to settle on the couch, the air is warm and sweetly-scented, and I know that I am home.

Romanticizing My Fall Wardrobe ~ I have begun reimagining my fall outfits: pairing sweaters and flowy skirts, cardigans and dresses, tights and over-the-knee socks with my ankle boots, over-the-knee boots with my jeans. A sunflower-crown headband here and a bow at my temple there, letting the lightning streaks in my curls shimmer and shine in the autumn sunlight. As I told a coworker, I am happily in my soft girl era, and I will not be taking questions or commentary on this issue. In my off hours, I am wrapped in warm, cozy comfies, sweet pumpkin slippers, and two of the softest, most deliciously comfortable blankets I have ever owned! I am hoping for a nice, long autumn to glory in.

Drawn to the Small Light (Advent 2023)

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Several years ago, I began doing weekly writings specifically for Advent, and I really enjoyed what came to feel like a holy practice in the process of it. However, I have not felt led in that direction this year. Instead, I find that I have a deep calling and draw towards candles in this darkening fall and oncoming winter.

I have artificial candles on my porch, on my staircase, on the mantle in the living room, all timed to turn on as the sun goes down. I light real, scented candles as I sit in the living room, filling the downstairs of my house with the aroma of cranberries, apples, and spices and my soul with the peace that accompanies such scents and their attached memories. Even as I grade assessment and essays, I can be wrapped in this sensory comfort of light and scent.

I long for candles’ flicker, giving softening, golden light to a world that is often so very harsh. I want their gentleness, their ability to move with changes in the air. The flames waver and move with the current changes but do not go out unless the air is overly-harsh or forceful. I love a candle’s warmth, its taking-in of oxygen and giving-back of heat.

I love writing with firelight splashing over the pages of my notebook or journal. It feels as though the warmth of the flame is transferred to my pen, making my writing softer, kinder, perhaps more empathetic.

As I move through this Advent and Christmas season, I think I want to be more like a candle flame: giving light, warmth, and comfort where I can. I do not have to blaze and be so big as to be seen by and serve everyone. I can be small and still do good, for myself and others.

I may not reach all of my students, but I may be of comfort and support to one.

I may not get Christmas cards to everyone but I might just send one to someone who deeply needs the reminder that they are cared for.

I may not be able to find the “right” gift, but I may be able to gift my time and attention to a dear one at the right time.

I can be small and still be good. And so can you, Dear Reader. I love seeing your beautiful candle light.

Casting of Light

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I watched in fascination and more than a little awe as the candle rays intersected, bisected each other, arced, and danced across the wall over the steaming bathtub. The flickering wicks made the facsimiled sunbeams dance and bow, the bubbles in the tub taking on a brighter luminescence for brief seconds. 

I sank into the hot water, the light from only the candle pouring over my skin, splashing its earthy tone with gold, and the soft piano music trickling its sweetness into my soul. Days, though long and good on the earth, can leave my spirit devoid of quiet and awe. I had come, like a pilgrim to a wildwood chapel, seeking them, and I found them in flickering candle shadows on my bathroom wall.