life

Resurrecting Dead Poets

Leave a comment

I am not a huge fan of Walt Whitman but, now that Robin Williams’ quoting of his poem “O Me! O Life!” from Dead Poets Society is the background for Apple’s new iPad commercial, that poem has once again become imprinted on the front of my brain.

O Me! O Life!
BY WALT WHITMAN
Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

                                                                     Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

I, as a human being, cannot help but ask myself sometimes, what good am I? And the honest truth to that is: I don’t know. I don’t know what good I am, what grand purpose I have in the scheme of life, what – if any – legacy I will leave after me. All I know is that I am here and whatever verse I am contributing, I am trying to make it a good one, a sound one, one that will encourage and edify. I don’t really know what I am doing but I’m trying my best to do it well.

The End of A Decade Draws Nigh

Leave a comment

When I was in college, my girlfriends and I (lovingly known by the upperclassmen as “The Gaggle”) would sometimes sit together and talk about what we expected or hoped to do during our “decade”: the ten years between age 20 and 30. Now, I am 42 days out from my 30th birthday and I find myself thinking back over my decade.

During my decade I have:

  • Traveled to Russia on missions for 9 weeks
  • Completed undergraduate work and graduated magna cum laude with a Bachelors of Science in Education
  • Completed graduate school and earned my Masters of Arts in Literature, cum laude
  • Had two papers on J.R.R. Tolkien’s literature and archetypes published,
  • Presented a paper about John Fowles at a local literature conference,
  • Dated for the first time,
  • Lost three family members to cancer,
  • Bought my first car, a white Plymouth Voyager
  • Lived in my own apartment, by myself, for three months
  • Got married,
  • Started teaching full-time,
  • Began bellydancing,
  • Bought my first house with my husband,
  • Traveled to New Orleans (I had never been there before),
  • Began blogging,
  • Learned to be more honest, with myself and others,
  • Earned my Library/Media Specialist addition to my teaching license,

and, last but not least,

  • Had my first child.

When I look back on it, I have, honestly, accomplished a great deal, even though it may not feel that way a lot of the time. In fact, I have accomplished everything that we discussed “should” happen in your decade: get married, start a career, buy your first house, start having children…I was rather surprised when I realized that. And, yet, I feel now – with Elizabeth – that my life is only beginning, that is, with a new decade, a brand-new chapter, nay, a brand new book is beginning.

Right now, I plan on going back to work as a teacher in August. However, at the moment, I am thoroughly enjoying being home with Elizabeth and I wouldn’t give up this time for anything in the world. Needless to say, I’m very much looking forward to the summer: sun and warmth and nature with my wonderful husband and my little girl. Now I get to share all those wonderful summer experiences with a new life and continue creating a whole new cache of memories. Can anything be more wonderful than that?