Yes, I am an introvert. Why else do you think that I’m comfortable blogging? I don’t have to look strangers in the face and talk them. It is easier to be anonymous (for the most part) in baring my feelings and hopes and dreams and failures. If I had to sit down and tell all this to a complete stranger…well, I wouldn’t. Plain and simple. But here…here I can do that.
When I was a child, I was shy, retiring, except with my family. Because they were my family. They knew me. Strangers, I wouldn’t speak. If I was put in the spotlight, I froze up. I was happier in my room with my books and dolls, making up stories of my own, than in huge crowds of kids. I was a bookworm, I was a good student in school. In 2nd grade, my teacher actually placed my desk behind hers because of space issues in the classroom, and because she knew that I didn’t mind if I wasn’t sitting next to my friends, I would concentrate on my work and get it done without a teacher looking over my shoulder. Of course, the flip side to that was that sometimes she forgot I was there but that’s OK. She made up for it by making me a junior bridesmaid in her wedding. ^_^ Hah, magenta feet! But that’s a whole other story.
I am an introvert, truly and really. I may be pleasant and some even say charming when I’m in public but, honestly, I am most comfortable on my own or with a small group of friends. Large groups of people en masse make me uncomfortable, especially since I am shorter than most people I know. I enjoy being at home, reading, writing, watching movies, or doing the same with a select group of friends. I get my energy from being alone, my batteries recharged by silence and reflection and losing myself in a good story. I plan things out and dislike surprises that disrupt those plans. I don’t like confrontation and keep my feelings and thoughts mostly to myself. Unless I know you or have a connection with you, I don’t like to be touched, excepting the case when it’s in the course of acting or live action roleplay. Yep, I am an introvert.
My daughter, however, is not. At least not right now. At just a few days shy of 8 months, she is already displaying a very extroverted personality. She intensely dislikes being alone, loves to be talked to, played with, and, essentially, to be the center of your attention. She is a good-natured baby with lots to say, though it all comes out in the form of “dada” or some variation currently. Her father, when he was a child, was very “Look at me! Mommy, Daddy, watch me!” Elizabeth is already that way. Look at me, watch me do it. And I don’t mind that. I suppose what I worry about is when she gets older, if that extroverted personality progresses, how she and I will get along. There are times when I need quiet time to be by myself; I think it benefits everyone. How will I teach her to be independent and create her fun on her own? How will I teach her to respect Mommy’s quiet time and help her know that it’s not because I don’t want to be with her? I know that when she has grown more, I will be able to sit down and talk with her about it; what concerns me is before that, as in toddler to five years old.
The other thing that’s been on my mind is how can I, an introvert, raise an extroverted child? I’m not entirely sure what I mean by that and, yes, I know that people do it all the time. It’s not something that I have ever considered, really. I cannot imagine Elizabeth being as introverted as I am but, then again, I couldn’t imagine her personality being anything like it is now when I was pregnant. This little coconut will keep on surprising me, I’m sure, and all I can do is my best.
Not looking forward to those pre-dawn, extroverted, jumping on top of me in bed, “GET UP, MOMMY” mornings, though. Don’t enjoy them now even. All that’s missing right now is the jumping on top of me and articulation of “get up, Mommy”. Ah, well. She’s great besides all that, I assure you. ^_~