Cross-posted from my Mommy blog.
Dear Tearful Mom,
I know you’re exhausted, I know you’re frustrated, even angry, I know that your eyes and back and head all ache, your chest hurts with holding in the tears, and you’re half-crazy from having to sing the “When You Feel So Mad” song from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood to yourself as often as you have recently just to keep your cool. I know you worry about being a “bad mommy” because you can’t be constantly patient and cooing and sweet when your little one fusses and bosses and then refuses any sort of comfort you try to give. You love your little one and fight vehemently the feeling of throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It’s not their fault; they are little and needy (maybe in pain) and they don’t understand or know how to do for themselves or what will make them feel better. The doctors want them to be independent but the truth is that they just aren’t. Not yet.
You haven’t been alone, truly alone, in months. You haven’t been able to go out, or even just stay in, and relax on your own terms. Truly relax. You might not have had a solid night’s sleep in a while. You haven’t been able to live on your own schedule, recharge your batteries in the way that is best for you. You feel weary and wilted, tired and tearful. The tears fall without you really noticing, large and plentiful, when you’re too exhausted to hide them anymore.
It’s OK to feel that way. You’re not alone, I know how you feel.
Because I feel that way, too.