This struck me today. I think, once upon a time, that I wanted to be extraordinary. Extraordinary as a teacher. Extraordinary as a writer. I wanted to stand out, to be able to look at the people who made fun of me in school for my bookish studiousness and smirk, “I win.” I wanted, like Roxy Hart, to see my name featured prominently – somewhere, somehow (all good reasons, of course). But, over the years, as I have learned myself better, studied even harder, and discovered interests and skills and passions, I find that ‘being extraordinary’ isn’t so important to me anymore. I don’t mind being in the background, plying my skills at quiet things. But I also am getting better at being brave and bold and putting my thoughts and feelings, my skills and passions out there for others to see.
I don’t need to win Teacher of the Year, don’t ever think I would. I don’t need to take the world by storm with my writing or blogs. I don’t need to become famous on YouTube for my fashion sense and personal style or anything like that. I don’t need to be extraordinary in the world’s eyes. What I need to be is the best person that I can be and that is a daily, hourly, moment-by-moment work. I am still learning myself, even at thirty-one years old, and constantly trying to put what I learn – the good and the bad – to good use. I have a husband to be better for and, now, a daughter, not to mention myself.
I don’t think I need to be extraordinary. I really just want to be good.