Quasi-Daily Writing: Carnality of Ecstacy – December 16, 2011


Have you ever bitten into the perfect apple? Rich and red and when you bit into it, it gave way with a crunch and burst of sweetness in your mouth? Yeah? Well now, imagine a day that’s been going non-stop, people pressing on your every side for things, no time to rest, no time to hardly breathe, no time to feel. And then you get that apple.

Turn it around in your hands for a moment. It’s smaller, no bigger than your fist. Just perfect for middle school lunch trays. And then…that oh-so-wonderful bite.

That was me about…3 minutes ago. When I bit into that apple, I just stopped walking and half-hunched over, the beautiful thing cradled in my hands. It was the most ecstacy, most sublime moment that I have felt all week. The taste was beyond what I had expected…so sweet, so juicy, it just flooded my mouth with…happy. I know I had my eyes shut because I had to open them again to continue walking out of the cafeteria. All lunch period, I had been watching seventh graders throw these unblemished, unbitten wonders of nature into the trash bin, though I longed to beg them for those perfect apples that were about to be discarded. But seventh graders gross me out too much for that, even for apples. So, on my way out, I asked one of the lunch ladies in my sweetest voice if I  may have one and, glory, she said yes!

And then, nirvana!

I walked back through the halls and stairwells to my classroom, ignoring the students all about me, wholly engrossed in this apple. I was surely making noises far too carnal (and, thankfully, low-pitched) to warrant the simple eating of a fruit but I couldn’t help it. Such ecstasy deserved even a hint of carnality. Even now, I’m still licking my lips, trying to not forget what it tasted like, how cool it was in my hands and in my mouth, how refreshing.

THAT was the nicest moment of my day. I miss it already.

Knowing Me


So every few years or so, I take the Keirsey/Bates Personality Test to see how I am changing or what have you.  I usually waffle back and forth between an ENFJ and an INFJ. This year, I tested as an INFJ – The Counselor.

INFJS (Counselors) have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.

Counselors are scarce, little more than three percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.

Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people’s feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization.

Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another’s emotions or intentions – good or evil – even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others’ feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor’s remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.

(http://www.keirsey.com/4temps/counselor.aspx)

Quasi-Daily Writing – October 6, 2011 – “Moments”


There are moment. Stark, quiet, beautiful moments. Moments that make no sense and are all the more beautiful for not. Moments that change your world in an instant, only for that instant. I had one such moment today.

Sitting in the vestibule by the gym entrance today after lunch, as it is a spot with benches and some early afternoon sun, I had just finished reading a chapter in Erin Morgenstern’s The Night Circus and my mind still whirred with color and whispered words and touches and kisses so real that I could feel them on my own fingertips and neck. I found myself looking through the glassed doors and walls to the sunny world outside and it was as though the world stopped for a moment. I was in a fishbowl, looking out and observing a sun-washed tableau of the world. It was a profound, confusing, quiet moment.

And then it was gone. I picked up my Kindle again and kept reading, tumbling into the world of the circus and its performers and the challenge that surrounds it again. But that moment was so poignant in its…whatever it was, that I couldn’t sit still again and had to hurry back to my classroom to get paper and pencil to jot it down, which I have now transcribed here.

There are moments. We should cherish them.

Daily Writing – September 23, 2011 – I Love My Legs


I love my legs. I really do. My thighs, not so much. But my legs. Oh, honey! Who would have thought that a woman who is only 5’1 without heels on could have such long legs? I distinctly remember the first time I ever wore a knee-length skirt. I just sort of marveled at the way my own legs looked stretching beneath the skirt to my high-heeled sandals. I said, surprised, “I have nice legs.”

To which, my mother replied, “Of course you do. Just no one ever sees them.”

Well, I’ve changed that trend over the past 14 years. I’ve learned the value of a shorter skirt, the freedom of shorts, and the seduction of a knee-length pencil skirt. I have come to love my legs, to know the power of a well-shod foot and, as they would say, well-turned calf. I’ve learned just the right shoes to give even more length and shape to my legs. I will forever have the thighs of Ebanks women but a long enough skirt or dress can hide that and still show off a great pair of gams.

When I was lying down on the floor on my side once, a friend pointed to me, running their finger through the air over the line of my legs and just sort of sighed, “Look at that.” I think I blushed at that moment but it felt good. Just like it does when Ben runs his hands over my legs, or scratches gently at my thigh, or kisses my ankle.

Yeah. I think I love my legs.

Daily Writing – September 22, 2011 – Baby Thoughts


Over Labor Day weekend, I had the privilege of meeting Ben’s 3-month-old 2nd cousin.  We got to his aunt and uncle’s house and, within ten minutes, I had the little one in my arms. Her weight in my arms felt wonderful, as did her soft, downy head against my cheek. I had her sleeping away within 10 minutes and I just loved the feeling of her little form against me. I still want children of my own and am consistently praying for guidance as to timing. I want to give Ben the children he wants. I’m not in the baby rage that many of my friends have been in lately, but it hasn’t been lost on me just how many of those friends are having children of their own.

However, for a few moments, I forgot all of that and just reveled in holding this beautiful little girl, rocking her, singing to her as though she were my own. Somewhere in the back of my head, I marveled at how natural it felt and I could feel the old insecurities nurtured — unwittingly, I know — by my family warring with the desire to just stay in that moment with this miraculous little bundle of life. It was a beautiful few moments.

Daily Writing – June 21, 2011: Of Myths and Men, Volume 1


A teaser for one of my favorite stories I’ve ever written, with one of my best friends. ^_^ A crossover of “Highlander: The Series” and “X-men”.

= = = = = = =

Nadya came back into the room where Methos reclined on the couch, flicking on the TV on her way to the kitchen. Methos, grunting in disgust as the annoying marvel of the 20th century blared to life, propped himself up on one elbow and opened his mouth to call after Nadya…only to be interrupted by her.

“Yes, I know you want a beer, but, of course, I don’t like that stuff in my house.” She turned and placed a hand on her hip as she rounded the island in the middle of the kitchen. “I’ll brew you some coffee in a minute…or some tea?” she offered as she opened the refrigerator door.

Methos suppressed a smirk. The small figure was clad in a long denim skirt with a slit up the back so as not to slow her down. Covering the upper part of her frame was a violet colored sweater, worn more for looks than for the chill of the mild September thatPariswas having this year. Her feet were shod in her light-blue fuzzy house slippers…the ones with the little bows.

Methos’ smirk became a smile as he responded, “Actually, I am aware of that and was going to ask for the tea to begin with.”

Nadya poked her head around the door to look at him. The old man gave one of his boyish grins that annoyed the life out of her…except for the fact he looked so cute when he did that.

‘Must be feeling better if he is in the mood to play,’ she thought before saying, “It’s fromIndia—Princess Gita.” With that, she ducked her head back behind the fridge to hide her smile at the upcoming reaction.

“…can’t you have any decent tea?”

Nadya wasn’t sure what language he had slipped into but she remembered his rants about Indian tea – namely, the British obsession with it and, specifically, Byron’s obsession with it, among other things. She knew he hated the stuff.

“…..bloody nasty stuff!” Methos paused to get a breath, ending his tirade for a moment. “Could I have coffee instead?”

Nadya composed her face and peeked around the door again.

By then, Methos had remembered his manners, “Please.”

“Of course! I keep some just for you.” She moved toward the cupboard.

“I know.” Methos grinned and lay back down on the couch. Nadya was about to respond when the television drew her attention, followed by the old man’s.

The television portrayed a protest in the streets of WashingtonD.C.The crowds of people holding signs and yelling were lined up behind barricades along streets in front of Capitol Hill. Fists were raised in the air, along with signs proclaiming the country’s growing concern about what some were so bold as to call a world wide epidemic. Mutants.

“Today, the streets ofWashingtonbelie what the Congress voted just the day before: that theUnited Stateswill not require mutants to register nationally. Yet, apparently, the public has not had its concerns met by their representatives,” came an anchor’s voice over.

The camera panned away from the reporter to fan the angry crowds. Some were even chanting, “Death to mutants!” The newsfeed cut back to the newsroom and the anchors closed the story then as they looked to another camera, appearing to leave the turmoil that was gripping the world at large and focus on a public interest story.

“If only it were that easy,” Nadya said as she moved over and turned the television to the French version of A&E.

She and Methos shared a sympathetic look before she asked, almost in a whisper, “Aren’t you…?”

“Afraid they will come after us next?” Methos finished as he looked down at his wounds, almost healed by now.

“Yes.” Nadya clenched a small fist at her side. Her concern for her friend was evident; not just for him but Duncan as well. And all the others.

“I have seen far worse,” Methos replied, mostly to alleviate her fears. If only she knew what he had not only seen but had done. His mind flashed back to a year ago and his own involvement with the bunch of racist…‘no, speciest jerks’. He should have felt guiltier about being involved with Stryker, but well…

‘Well what, old man? You wanted that adamantium! You wanted to keep your own head! You are selfish…yes.’ Methos thought to himself. ‘But, when you have been Death, nothing is too hard. And morals…well, morals are fickle things.’

Methos didn’t regret his time spent playing the bad guy…only that it had proved useless in the end.

“You have?” Nadya asked.

Methos nodded. “The world has seen far worse than this…and I suspect even that will one day be surpassed. Humanity lacks no limits to the depths to which it is capable of descending,” he said as he sat up, his wounds finally closed.

“That…is an awfully pessimistic attitude,” Nadya answered, a somewhat sad tone to her voice.

“Well, what do you expect?! I just got attacked by a bloody big, powerful immortal, almost got apprehended by the authorities, walked several miles with a gaping hole in my side, AND, to top it all off, there is no beer in the place I sought refuge at!” He threw his hands up in a gesture of ‘why me’.

“I…I think some tea would calm you down,” Nadya murmured as she moved back to the kitchen. Her tone was flat and low; he could tell she was hurt by his outburst.

“Nadya…wait! No, I’m sorry. Please, no tea; I’ve suffered enough,” Methos staggered to his feet, cursing himself, and followed the small woman to the kitchen.

Daily Writing – June 16, 2011 – Crossover Challenge: Highlander The Series and Fables


Methos glanced at the address in his hand as his cab pulled up toBulfinch StreetinNew York City. Woodland Luxury Apartments. Yep, this was the place.  He paid the cabbie, shouldered his bag, and made his way through the great iron gates.

A smiling man in uniform greeted him at the door. “Good day, sir, and welcome to Woodland.”

The old man nodded in reply. “I’m here to see Miss White.”

“Of course. Please, just step into the lobby and the attendant will call her for you,” the doorman directed, still with a large smile.

Nodding again, Methos stepped through the open door in the sumptuous, old-fashioned lobby. Following the doorman’s directions, he spoke to the person at the security desk.

“It’ll be just a moment or two, sir,” the guard said, hanging up the phone.

Methos declined to sit and just waited near the staircase, glancing around. As he stood there, someone came tromping down the stairs and bumped shoulders with the old immortal as they passed.

“Hey! Watch it!” It was out of Methos’ mouth before he could suppress it. Blast it all; didn’t he usually try to avoid confrontation?

The man who had bumped into him paused in the midst of pulling a battered old trench coat over his shoulders. He turned and glanced at Methos, a cigarette clenched between his teeth, his eyes narrowing slightly as he finished pulling on the coat.

Methos didn’t feel threatened, more like the man was trying to recognize him. The man leaned towards him as though to speak but, instead, he sniffed the air around Methos.

“Heh,” he finally grunted. “Didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” With that and nothing more, the man turned and strode out the door.

Methos barely had time to be nonplussed, for a voice rang out halfway up the stairs. “Adam! Adam Pierson, is that really you?”

He glanced up to see a woman coming down the stairs towards him. As long as he could remember, the only way to describe her was “lips red as a rose, hair black as ebony, and skin white as snow”.

“Well, don’t just stand there like a hobo waiting for a handout, come on.” She smiled and led him up the stairs and down more than a few halls. “My office is this way. Welcome to Fabletown, by the way.” She smiled over her shoulder at him.

Let’s just say Methos was more than happy to follow form, in a manner of speaking.

Once they were in her office, she closed the door behind them and Methos proceeded with gaping.

“This isn’t an office….it’s…Ali Baba’s cave!” he gasped, as they stepped into the yawning space that Miss Snow White called her office.

“Close,” she laughed in reply.

“Ooooo, Miss White, do we have a visitor?” Methos suddenly found himself face-to-face with, of all things, a flying monkey.

“Yes, Bufkin. This is my friend Adam Pierson,” Snow introduced Methos by his “mundy” name.

“Call me Methos,” he rather stuttered.

“Oh, lovely to meet you,” Bufkin grinned. “I’ll rustle up some tea for us all if that’s all right, Miss White.”

“That would be wonderful, Bufkin, thank you. Where’s Boy Blue?”

“Out to lunch!” the monkey threw over his shoulder as he flew down the corridor.

Methos let out a low whistle as he glanced around Snow’s office. “Impressive. I never thought…”

“You just thought I was insane, didn’t you?” Snow said, chuckling. “A girl who claims to be the Snow White and to run a community of fairytales and fables.”

“Well…I’ve never been much for fables. After all, I was one.” Methos smirked, sitting in one of the leather chairs across from her handsome desk. “Oh, speaking of your citizens, I passed someone on the stairs. Rough looking guy, trench coat…?”

Snow nodded knowingly. “Bigby. Bigby Wolf. He’s our Sherriff. Don’t worry, he’s that way with everyone.”

“You mean, he sniffs everyone he passes?”

Snow cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow questioningly. “No…not necessarily. He did that?”

“Yeah, rather strange. He spoke like we’d met before but, honestly, I think I’d remember. He’s too much like another person I know,” Methos added.

“Perhaps you have met before, just not while he looked like that,” Snow suggested, lifting teacups off the tray that Bufkin had just brought.

“What did he look like before?”

“Try the largest wolf you’ve ever seen and then multiply that by about 20,” Bufkin laughed, setting the teapot down. “And he huffs and he puffs….”

“Wait, wait! Big…by Wolf. He is the…”

“…Big Bad Wolf, yes,” Snow supplied, “So you have met before?” She reached for the teapot.

“No, allow me.” Methos took it from her and did the honors of the tea service as he spoke. He shook his head in disbelief as he did, smiling in spite of himself. “Long, long ago, when I lived alone in the woods, I came across a wolf in my cattle pen one morning. Sugar and cream? A huge thing, it held a bull down with one paw while it tore its throat out. One lump or two? Naturally, I tried to kill it but…”

~ ~ ~

The door crashed open as Methos hurtled through it. It was unusual for his small herd to be so restless, especially out here away from everything. But something had those animals spooked, because they were lowing up a storm.

His Ivanhoe drawn, he hurried to the cattle pen. It was probably thieves; couldn’t let an honest man live his life without butting into it and making things difficult.

“All I wanted was to be left…alone?” Methos felt something die quietly in his brain. There, in the cattle pen, was the single largest creature he had ever seen. A wolf. No, a leviathan. It held a bellowing animal down with one paw, staring at it for a moment before neatly snapping its neck in two, nearly severing the head.

Damn it. That was his only breeding steer and eventually starving to death was not a happy prospect. Methos lost no time moving against the wolf. As he leapt from the fence, sword held high, the wolf suddenly turned on him with a snarl.

When next he could think, all that filled his mind was the arm that the wolf had seized him by and flung him a hundred feet, crashing into a tree.

The arm was completely shredded, forever useless; if he had been mortal, that is. Methos heard the beast approach, the bull in his maw. The wolf just looked down at him from its towering height and sniffed at the man.

Methos was keenly aware that one of his ribs was lodged in a lung; he was dying, sure as the sun rose. He struggled to look up at the wolf and, he was just delirious, to be sure, but he was certain that he heard the wolf mutter around the bull in his mouth.

Later, when he would reflect on it, Methos would almost swear the animal said, as he died, “Idiot.”

~ ~ ~

“….needless to say, that was a battle I lost. I always wondered by he didn’t finish killing me.” Methos shook his head and chuckled ruefully as he handed Snow the cup.

Snow smiled, cradling the saucer. “We can tell what you are, almost like we would tell each other. It’s a different feeling entirely, like a different consciousness, but it’s there. You Immortals are as much a fable as we are, in a way. And Bigby never forgets a scent.”

The old man shrugged as he prepared his own dish of tea. “Lucky me, I guess.”

The two took their tea in quiet for a while before Bufkin started up. “So…Methos…you’re Immortal?”

The old man almost guffawed at the winged monkey’s attempt at small talk. “Yes.”

“Bufkin might be quite interested in what you’ve brought us, Methos. Shall we show him?” Snow suggested mischievously.

“Ooo, ooo! What is it?” The monkey perched on the back of her chair excitedly.

Turning to his bag, Methos opened it and pulled out a rather large, heavy book, setting it on Snow’s desk with a respectable thump. “Welcome to my world, Bufkin.”

The monkey’s eyes widened. As the Fabletown librarian, he had a fondness for books and knew where each and every book and document in the Fabletown offices and library were filed.

“Bufkin, this is Methos’ Chronicle; it’s his life story,” Snow began.

“Kept since writing was invented so I hope you’ve brushed up on your hieroglyphics and Ancient Greek,” the ancient finished.

“Methos needs somewhere safe to keep it; the Immortals are in more danger from Mundanes than we are, Bufkin. And he is the oldest of them all, if what he tells me is true.”

“And where else to hide something you don’t want found…”

“…than with people who don’t exist. Got it!” Bufkin flapped up over the desk and settled on the edge, next to the great book. “Let’s see, where shall I put it? History, Memoirs, or Languages?” he asked himself more than anyone else.

“Wherever you like, Bufkin. You’ll be the only one who remembers where it is anyway,” Snow offered.

“Yeah, that’s true,” the monkey agreed. After a few moments, he figured a way to heft the book and then flapped off into the depths of the library.

Snow smiled gently when he was gone. “We will take excellent care of it, Methos. The proof you exist is safe here.”

The Immortal nodded but, before he could say anything, the office door banged open and there was Bigby. “Snow!”

She sighed. “Don’t you knock, Bigby?”

He ignored the question as he strode up to her desk. “Just got word from Wheyland up at the Farm, Colin’s run off again.”

Snow sighed. “That pain of a pig. OK, let me know when he shows up, because you know he will.”

“Always does,” Bigby grunted. Then he looked down at Methos. “How’s the arm?”

Methos looked confused but then recollection flashed behind his eyes. “Just fine, thanks. Mended perfectly, now that you mention it.”

“Yeah, would figure it did,” Bigby muttered around his cigarette. “So what are you anyway? Cuz you’re not a fable.”

“Well, he is…of sorts,” Snow offered, “Among his own kind.”

“And that would be?” When they both hesitated, he pulled the cigarette out of his mouth, exhaling heavily, “If I’m gonna protect this place, I need to know what’s going on. What are you, bub?”

“Immortal,” Methos replied.

“But not like us, huh?”

“No, not quite. From what Snow has told me, your immortality hinges on how much you are believed in, right?”

A grunt in reply.

“Well…our Immortality hinges in whether or not our head stays attached to our shoulders.” Methos’s mouth curled sardonically.

“Well, then, Methos. From what you’ve told me…I guess the three of us are going to be around for quite a time, huh?” Snow snickered, leaning back in her chair.

Bigby sort of grunted again and then turned towards the door. “Well, enjoy your tea, ladies. Some of us have business to attend to.” With that, he was gone again.

Snow sighed in annoyance, pinching the bridge of her nose. “And that’s when he’s polite. You have no idea…”

Methos raised an eyebrow, smiling in that infuriatingly superior way he had. “Oh, don’t I? Let me tell you about a guy namedLogan. But they also called him the Wolverine…”

Daily Writing – June 15, 2011


This morning is dark and rumbly and rainy. The perfect morning to sleep in late. I’ve had nine hours of sleep. I’m good. I like listening to the rain outside; it reminds of the days we would pray for in Cayman. Cool mornings full of clouds and fat raindrops that, if they poured heavily and quickly enough, could cancel school. Then, if I was lucky, I could sit at home and watch tv, listen to music, or read my books all day long. Yes, days you lived for in the Cayman Islands.

Now I’m here in Farmland, Indiana, listening to the thunder rumble over the house I share with my husband of almost five years. Those facts alone serve to amaze me. I’m living in Indiana. I have my own house. I’ve been married to Ben for almost five years. It’s all still somewhat surreal, all the dreams that have come true for me in the past 11 years since I left home for college.

I’m 28 years old. I have a Bachelors of Science in English Education and a Masters of Art in Literature. I have been teaching full-time for five years and now I’m trying to think of what I could possibly enjoy doing other than teaching. I have said it before: I am an English major who teaches. The subject matter is my first love. Don’t get me wrong, I truly do enjoy teaching the nuances and allegories and everything of higher level literature. Perhaps I shall try to teach college classes someday, or private tutoring.

May 28, 2011 – Salt in a Wound


In a time when being a teacher in Indiana is coming to mean less than nothing, I find myself upset and rather hurt that this movie is coming out in a month. Why not make teachers look even worse by having one portrayed by Cameron Diaz who was “doing it for all the right reasons. Shorter hours, summers off, no accountability”. I don’t really care of it’s some kind of redemption story for Diaz’s character. The fact that they portray a teacher that way makes me incredibly angry and embarrassed, and it truly does feel like salt in what is becoming a very raw wound.

Teachers are being told that their years of service don’t matter, that they have not earned their positions. We are being told that students need to be tested more. We are told what to teach, when to teach it, when to test them. Our pay is being locked without even cost of living considerations.

It just…hurts to know that teachers try and work and give and…apparently that doesn’t matter. Even Hollywood thinks we’re worthless.

So…thanks. Thanks so much.

Quasi-Daily Writing: February 22, 2011


I feel like I am at a standstill. Everyone’s up in arms about the government giving teachers the shaft, getting rid of bargaining rights, saying that only 50% of teachers will soon need to be officially licensed, etc. I’m upset, definitely, enraged even. But I do not know what can be done to stop it. I look at everything that’s being tried: letters, protests, walk-outs, but it feels like throwing paper at a freight train. It just rips right through it and keeps on coming, crushing it beneath its wheels.

What the hell did we do to make people think so badly of us? When did we become the end-all be-all for how someone else’s child turns out and how their mind works? When did I become totally responsible for children that I neither conceived nor birthed? When did all the blame come to be laid at our feet? I, for one, am doing my best to make the information that I am required to teach accessible and understandable to students, even if I cannot make it the most fun all the time. And not only that but I am also answering the questions about ethics, right and wrong, mortality, mentality, growing up, that you should be answering. And here I am being nitpicked to death, told what I must and must not teach and when. It makes my soul hurt when I think of what freedom I had only three years ago, doing Steampunk literature with my 8th graders as they studied the Industrial Revolution in Social Studies. *sigh* I should have appreciated it when I had it, huh?

Do I want to stay on with this? Do I still want to teach? For Ben, teaching is the thing. He is the teacher who just happens to specialize in German and Spanish. For me, it’s the subject matter. I am the English major who just happens to teach. I’m not entirely sure if I want to stay with teaching. I am getting ready to take my library/media specialist praxis soon. I think I could be happy in a library all day long, though I know that comes with responsibilities and duties of its own. But still…

I don’t know, we’ll see. But teaching is no longer a respected profession, at least not by most. We are scapegoats. Sure, some people just shouldn’t be teaching. But it’s hard to develop a prize-winning horse when the animal would rather drown than drink. That’s how I feel some days, a lot of days. Though I do have those golden-ticket days (or even just periods) at times. Still…I don’t know.