Hobbies

What is Saving My Summer Life 2026

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As summer deepens with the beginning of July, here are some of the sun-bright glimmers that are saving my life and refreshing my soul.

🫰🏽Pursuit of Jade (2026, Netflix)

Based on the popular Chinese historical romance web novel Zhu Yu, written by Tuan Zi Lai Xi, Pursuit of Jade is a sweeping, elegant, costume drama that dropped onto Netflix back in March. There are 40-episodes in this story, which I finished less than 24 hours ago as of the time of this writing. I have to admit that I have never—and I mean NEVER—watched anything as romantic as this series, with the exception of the gorgeous anime My Happy Marriage (which is its own enthralling, beautiful love story). Pursuit of Jade is brilliantly acted (Zhang Linghe’s subtle yet powerful expressions make me fall in love every time he’s on screen, and Tian Xiwei is the most stunning woman I have ever seen in her ability to portray both outward and inward beauty and warmth); gorgeously set and dressed (I have seen full-budget films that weren’t half as beautiful and detailed); and full of characters that you love and love to hate, along with plot twists that will make your head spin. I have always loved wuxia (martial heroes) epics, ever since Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon ushered in a beautiful era of Chinese film on the American markets. Among my favorites are: Hero, Fearless, House of Flying Daggers, and Curse of the Golden Flower. So, if you are looking for an at-home cinematic experience this summer, I highly suggest that you invest the time and effort into Pursuit of Jade. Trust me, subtitles are not that scary. And they are worth the story.

🫰🏽Extended Friend Time

For two weekends in a row, I was able to spend time with two besties that I absolutely DO NOT get enough of. Allison—a dear friend of fifteen years—stayed over while she was participating in a Disney’s Lorcana TCG tournament/convention downtown, and it was brilliant to get to indulge in extra-long couch time with her over those days. I also got to rejoice with her in her game goodies, autographs, pictures, and loot haul from the tournament, which is ALWAYS a good time!

The following weekend, Michele, another bestie (former teaching colleague), joined me for not one but TWO k-pop events. If you do not know what k-pop is, Google is very helpful. ^_~ Thursday night, we couch-rotted, caught up, and watched the Kingdom: Legendary War Korean music survival show (watching a bunch of talented men cheer and encourage each other on in their art/passion/careers was so very healing!). Then, early Friday morning, we trekked out to Barnes and Noble for a pop-up event for the release of Ateez’s new mini-album “Golden Hour: Part 5”! It was so very much fun to meet other fans in line, hear their stories, get our merch, and then sit down in the cafe with other fans to unbox and trade/share all our goodies. The excitement and joy were just palpable, and it made my heart so happy to be in the midst of it! Exuberant things like that are what the world needs more of. I got utterly lost in the wondrous chaos both in person and online surrounding the album release, and it was the greatest of highs! 

The following day, we ventured to another pop-up store event. We weren’t entirely sure that we had the right place at first, as we got there early and it was a beauty supply shop. But as soon as it turned 9am, my Kiddo leapt out of the car, hurrying us adults up with, “It’s open! Let’s go!” So, of course, in we went. The pop-up was indeed there, and it was awesome!  We were the first ones in the door and there was so much stuff to browse through! I built up my Ateez photocard collection a bit more, and the Kiddo started their own collection of photocards with some of their favorite groups, along with getting some BTS Jimin/Chimmy merch. The Korean gentleman running the pop-up was so fun and very kind! He spoke to everyone, danced with people, and was giving great discounts and “sneaking” us freebies with a wink and a “Shh!” like he was everyone’s Ahjeo-ssi (“uncle”) giving us candy.  Needless to say, those were two very stupendous and deeply-needed weekends! More of that joy, please.

🫰🏽Fangirling

Both categories so far have hit on this, but I shall say it plainly: I am loving being a fangirl again! I am loving diving into fun things, beautiful stories, amazing music, and stunning (and stunningly-talented) people. It is different now than when I was a teenager but I am having a stellar time nonetheless. Also, it is good for me!

In the abstract to her paper Fantastic: Exploring the Intermedial Productivity of the Fangirl, Innes Seggie of the University of Edinburgh presented the following to The Kyoto Conference on Arts, Media & Culture in 2024 (definition note: “affect” in this context refers to an observable emotional response or outward display of feeling): 

“Fandoms serve as a rich site to examine intermedial play in modern culture, with fans engaging with and creating new, media-hybrid products that honour, subvert, and/or expand source material. While the body serves as both site and tool for this work, such productivity is only considered valuable and legitimate if conducted by a certain type of body – one detached from emotion and non-threatening to white, heteronormative, ableist, patriarchal society. The fangirl has long been condemned as a bad cultural producer with bad taste, too emotional to engage with or create worthwhile products. However, I argue that the fangirl’s productivity challenges the assumed hierarchical divide between logic and emotion that dominates Western theory. Using my own affected [emotionally impacted] responses as a starting point and focusing on fan edits, choreography videos, and concert films in the BTS and Taylor Swift fandoms, I combine personal experiences of fandom with academic research to examine the impact intermedial play has on the fangirl as both consumer and creator. My approach applies recent intermedial theory to current fan studies research and feminist analysis in order to understand the 21st century viewer from a more encompassing, multimedia perspective. Additionally, this autoethnographic method demonstrates the value (and presence) of affect in academic work first-hand. This exploration ultimately concludes that the fangirl actively uses affect in fan productivity to articulate identity and build community and thus demonstrates the value of emotion and affect in rational thought as it is a fundamentally embodied process.”

So, if you find my fangirling offensive because I am apparently a whole grown woman in my forties, then, darling, I might dare to suggest that you stop finding me. Much love to you!

Otherwise, rejoice with me! It’s not just “fangirling” that is good for our collective well-being, development of self and community, and productivity, but fan engagement of any sort and by any gender. Example: my darling Ben is currently reliving his glory days of Nintendo with our new Switch 2 and his GameBoy-style emulator. I am encouraging it, because it brings him joy in a world that can so often grind him down. And, as I said before, we need more of joy. So go enjoy what you enjoy, love what you love, and fangirl away!

🫰🏽Gym Days

The Kiddo decided that they want to build their upper-body strength this summer, and, as they are now old enough to come as a guest on my membership, we have been making trips to the gym together about three times a week. I am also working on my health and fitness so it is nice to have a partner in that, at least for the summer months. We shall see how the Kiddo feels about continuing once the school year starts back up. But, for now, it’s great.

One day is for cardio, either on the treadmill at the gym or walking around the neighborhoods if the weather is good. Then, the other two days are for strength training. Kiddo has their favorite machines they like to work on, but I am also teaching them how to/making them use free weight exercises, as well as some machines that are very much not their favorites. It’s all a process, but I am glad to go on this journey with them with whatever guidance and partnership I can offer.

🫰🏽Mood Reading

I have been very “bouncy” with my books of late, shifting from one to another as my mood shifts. I’m usually reading two books at once, sometimes three. Right now, I am reading: The Other Bennet Sister by Janice Hadlow, Behind Five Willows by June Hur, and Break My Rules by Siena Hart, and they are all very different books. The first two are, funnily enough, both inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, one literally being a sequel of sorts to the story and the other a tale of censorship and social expectations set in Joseon Dynasty Korea. But I am enjoying giving myself permission and freedom to float around in my reading. I am not putting too much stock on how many books I finish this summer, but, rather, trying to just enjoy the ride of each day. If I read a lot, great. If I read a little, that’s also great. It is an enjoyment, not a job. A delight, not a designated task. I am trying to concentrate my summer days on relaxation and rejuvenation, not bragging rights. So far, that’s proven to be the right path for me. So I think I will walk it a little while longer.

As the summer deepens with the oncoming holiday and hotter weather, may you find those golden hour glimmers that are saving your lives, dear ones. And if anything I have noted here might be of help or joy to you, please feel free to steal it for yourself. Whatever enables you to live joyfully and presently in this world, enjoying what happinesses you can find for just what they are. As Becky Chambers wrote in her beautiful novel A Psalm for the Wild-Built: 

“You keep asking why your work is not enough, and I don’t know how to answer that, because it is enough to just exist in this world and marvel at it. You don’t need to justify that, or earn it. You are allowed to just live.”

🫰🏽 I hope that you can just live this summer, darlings. Take that drive, take that nap, enjoy an hour with your book or game or TV show, linger over that lunch or dinner with a friend, go see that movie you’ve been looking forward to. Just because it makes you happy. Go save your life this summer. 

NaBloPoMo Day 20: Missing Like Wishing

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I’m sure I have mentioned this in varying forms over the past few weeks, months, what have you, but I miss gaming. I mean, live gaming. Physically being in a room with people, either sitting around a table or moving between spaces, engaged in our characters, laughing at antics, putting on our acting hats, and slipping beneath the skin of someone else. I miss the interaction, I miss the theatrics, I miss it all! I miss planning my costume/outfits for game, tapping into what my character is thinking or feeling that time and how that would influence what they choose to wear. I miss my closet full of gowns, the flowers for my hair that were chosen specifically for their meanings. I miss the “letters” full of flowery language, figurative (and sometimes proverbial) bear traps hidden beneath seemingly harmless nosegays.

I miss walking into a room full of friends and, for a moment, feeling that rush and thrill of nervousness as if I were walking into a room of strangers (especially if there were new people there). That feeling that has me either wanting to hide in a corner or run away. I would get over it eventually and be caught up in the fun and flurry of activity from soft rp to the rampaging plot bus to wrapping up rp at the end of game before nominations. At any game I have ever attended, we have always done some form of nominations at the end of game, acknowledging those who surprised us, delighted us, put themselves out there for plot, or whose characters royally screwed up and thus made lots of story and to-do for the rest of us.

I miss late-night “afters”. I miss gathering to eat with friends in the small hours of the morning, still gleeful and charged up from roleplay. I miss sharing conversation and good food and laughs while even on the verge of sleep.I miss slipping into the skin of someone else and living their life for a while. I miss feeling their heart beat and expand and drop and break within me. I miss being with others, with friends, with people who make me laugh, cry, hate, and love all in the space of a six-hour game. I miss feeling the energy of others pulsing all around me, even if it left me drained and weary at the end of the night. That was a cost I could live with most of the time. I miss my playtime.  I honestly can’t help but wish to have it again and thrill and be elated when I do get chances to indulge in one of my favorite hobbies.

A Lesson in (Geek) Etiquette

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I inhabit a world of geeks. If you have not been confronted by the passion of the geek by now, I salute you, because we are one seriously fervent and animated bunch. We usually make sure that you will remember us, one way or another.

That being said, I have apologies to make. In the past, I have been pretty unkind and even downright mean in my dislike of several comic book characters in the past, namely Scott Summers, aka Cyclops. I have disliked the way the character treats the people in his life, his insistence that his way is the best, etc. But I have realized that, in the past, I have been rather rude when discussing this character with others who may just like or even admire him for his leadership and what he has gone through in his tenure in the X-men universe. I may not agree with or like this character but that is no call for poor behavior on my part when it comes to respecting others and their position in the argument. So, to anyone I have treated that way, I sincerely apologize.

As much as our opinions and passions matter, I think one of the most important things we need to remember is our geek etiquette. What makes us so great a community is that we have a myriad of varied interests, likes, favorites, fandoms, etc. But we can also be exceedingly vocal and adamant in our passion for particular fandoms or characters or even specific versions of the two. Sometimes, we can allow those passions to overcome our good sense and in our desperate attempts to show that we are “right” and to win others over to “our side” or our way of seeing things, we can actually disrespect and damage our relationships with other people by unknowingly tromping all over something that might mean a great deal to them.

We might not know that this particular character or comic that we absolutely despise was an escape for this person when they were younger, a way to get away from the difficulties in their life at a particularly rough time.

We might not know that this character whom we find unbelievable and trite was the first thing that she bonded over with her brother, when before they had had nothing in common.

It might not have even crossed our minds that Matt Smith’s “Doctor Who”, whom we might consider manic and out of keeping with previous Doctors, calmed that frazzled mother’s colicky baby and gave her a few moments of peace and rest, which is why he is her favorite.

There are connections behind people’s opinions and favorites, thought they might seriously diverge from our own, that we might not know of because they are personal and close to their hearts. We are more than welcome to our own opinions, of course, but that does not mean that we cannot be kind and respectful in our passionate discussion, allowing for others to maintain their stances without our trying to tear them down when they refuse to “see it our way”. And this doesn’t just stand for “geeky” hobbies or interests. This practice can and should be applied to areas across the spectrum of our lives. We can be passionate AND respectful and possibly avoid damaging our friendships and relationships with others by stomping all over something that they might enjoy by detailing to them just how awful their choice in geekery, religion, career, or hobbies is. Trust me, we all get enough of that in our lives.

Nerdy Imposter

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Art by Cal Slayton – http://calslayton.blogspot.com/

Author’s Note: Edited on 6-7-14 for clarity and personal opinion.

I realized the other day that I feel like an imposter. For a while now, I have called myself a nerd, specifically a comic book nerd (Or is it ‘geek’? I don’t know which is the acceptable term now). I mean, we have about four issue storage boxes similar to the one the picture stacked in a corner of our living room by a bookshelf, not to mention two whole shelves of one bookcase for our trade paperbacks, 80% of them mine. So I think I have often thought of myself as the girl in the picture – fun (maybe a little cute and devilish) and geeky, glasses and all. But, as I go to more and more of the comic-based films and, inevitably, debate them afterwards with my husband and my friends, I’m realizing something. I’m realizing that I often feel like an imposter in this particular corner of the popular culture world.

With the releases of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, X-men: Days of Future Past, and The Amazing Spiderman 2 this spring alone, not to mention Guardians of the Galaxy hyping up and preparing to release in August, I find myself forced to think long and hard before and as I debate these films with others and, usually, they are others who have actually read the comics these movies are based on. For me, here’s how it breaks down, at least the most recent ones:

Captain America – never read a single thing with him, except for the recent A vs. X arc. Never been interested, actually.

X-men: My experience has been sporadic at best. My longest love affair has been with the animated series, The Uncanny X-men, X-men Evolution, and Wolverine and the X-men. I read the comics a great deal in middle school, read some again in college/grad school (only remember one arc that actually made any impact – Wolverine: Return of the Native), and the closest I have come to loyalty lately is the recent Uncanny X-men arc with the proto-mutants, which I a.) collected because the covers were pretty (love the nouveau layouts), b.) Storm was leading the team, and c). the story was interesting. Of course, life got in the way and I got lost on it.

Spiderman: I have not touched a Spiderman title since I was a child and I would grab my uncle’s stack of Spiderman comics, put them beside my grandma’s hammock that was hung up in her front hallway, and swing and read all of a summer afternoon to stay out of the sun and the heat. Those comics are gone by now, rotted to dust in a corner of the storeroom somewhere. And I only remember one or two of them with any sort of vividness.

Catwoman (90s run) issue #37 – Story by Dixon, pencils by Balent, inks by Smith

So maybe you can understand why I tend to feel like imposter. Maybe I’m not a comic book nerd, not really. I do have loyalty but not to a brand or a company. I have loyalty to a single incarnation of a single character: Catwoman. Specifically, her 90s run with the art drawn by Jim Balent. To my mind, she has never been more capable, lovely, or deadly than in this incarnation.  But I posted about that a little over a year ago so I won’t rehash it here.  I love Catwoman; she has been my only ‘real’ loyalty over the years. Batman, my feelings come and go. Superman I can take or leave. Even Wolverine , I run hot and cold at times.  Wait. I think I may have accidentally fibbed. There is one other title that has my love and loyalty and always will, I think: Fables.  But that is a whole other story in and of itself.

So, with this in mind, I’m not entirely sure I have earned the right to call myself a “comic book nerd”. I enjoy comics. They are fun to read. But I am not the girl who will stand there and argue Bone First vs. Adamantium First a la Big Bang Theory. Well, not if I don’t know the right answer right off the bat.  I do love offering theories, though. And I do love continuity, which, of course, X-men plays havoc with all the time, but that’s OK. It’s kind of part and parcel for the universe. But, for all of this, I feel like I’ve maybe been appropriating a title for which I am ill-suited, as silly as that may sound. It’s kind of like Cyanide Happiness comic about  “loving” science. Maybe…maybe I don’t “love” comics so much as I have been ogling Catwoman’s shapely behind for the past twenty years of my life.

It may not be the truth but that is how I feel. Over the past two years, I feel…removed from the hobbies that I love and used to participate avidly in – belly dance, comics, cosplay, and larp/tabletop. I hardly feel worthy of calling myself a ‘bellydancer’, ‘cosplayer’, or ‘larper’ any more either, truth be told. I know that with life comes changes and the finding of a new balance amidst those changes. Maybe that is what I need to work on.