hygge

Adding My Piece of Cozy (Publishing Announcement!)

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Hello, Dear Friends!

I have absolutely fantastic news, and I’m so excited! Back in September, I received an email from Christen Hammons, the editor-in-chief of Bella Grace Magazine.

“Hi, Melissa,

Congratulations! I’m so pleased to share that we would like to publish this piece in the upcoming The Cozy Issue, which hits newsstands on November 1.”

The piece she is referring to is “A Vision of Slow”. I submitted this piece to Bella Grace two years ago and had completely forgotten about it until I received this communication. I have been holding onto this for a month and a half, completely chuffed but kind of unsure until I could actually hold it in my hands, and…that day is finally here!

Bella Grace: The Cozy Issue 2025 released officially yesterday and can be found at Barnes & Noble Booksellers.

Embracing the Season

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In December of 2024, and then revisited on the January 24, 2025, edition, All Things Considered profiled Kari Leibowitz and her study of the “wintertime mindset”. Fascinated by the data that pointed to countries at higher latitudes having fewer instances of seasonal depression during the winter, Leibowitz decided to see for herself. Relocating to the Arctic Circle in Norway, she spent a long, dark, cold winter in a deep-dive study of just what it was that produced the positive outlook of these Norwegians, as well as having observed and researched in Scandinavia and northern Japan, among other locations. Through her studies over the last decade, Leibowitz determined that winter can be “cozy, magical, and refreshing” if we will orient ourselves towards the positive aspects of it, rather than viewing winter as a season to be merely endured.

I am honestly in the middle of the best winter of my life. As fall began to wind down last year, I found something in my soul yearning for winter, for the cold, for the barren dormancy, and especially for the profound quiet of snowfall. I determined, at some unconscious point, that I was going to enjoy my wintering this year. So far, we have gotten a fair amount of snow here in my state, and, while my hips and back hate me when I have to shovel it, I have still enjoyed it immensely. The beauty of its falling, the muffling quality of its blanket outside, and how it obliterates all the blemishes, rendering the world a clean, blank slate for a while. I have opened my blinds to watch the snowglobe world outside as it falls, wrapped in cozy blankets and warmed by my fireplace.

I have loved it when it has been so very cold outside that the very air itself seemed to sparkle. I have covered my home with light — candles and strings of sparkling bulbs–to combat the long winter dark outside. The tree will remain up for the remainder of the season, reflecting joy in its twinkle and glow.

I have wrapped myself in warm sweaters, comfy hoodies, softs socks, and thick leggings, dressings for the cold that will also keep me cozy within if the heating struggles against the might of the icy air without. I am enjoying layers of skirts, knit, and boots, living out my Outlander-inspired dreams.

I have thoroughly embraced Winter this year, and I am loving it. I am loving this low-energy season of life, enjoying leaning into the rest and quiet and calm of my blankets, books, coffee, and cat. I am purposefully building relaxation and dormancy into my winter life, holding the principles of hygge (Denmark) and mys (Sweden) close to my heart.

I am adoring Winter and finding it refreshing in ways that I had not expected. For example, my appetite for books and stories (which has always been healthy) has skyrocketed. I am experiencing such joy in the anticipation and eagerness to sit down to read every day. I have stocked up candles in all my favorite scents, the ones that send my body and mind instantly into relax mode. Those scents transition me back into my sense of home and cozy belonging, knowing that I am safe in my little hobbit hole and the rest of the world can wait until tomorrow.

So, if you’ll excuse me, my blankets and books are calling.

If you’d like to know more about Kari Leibowitz’s studies, you can check out her book How to Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days.

Yearning for Golden Days

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I find myself hoping and praying for an early, long autumn. I want those crisp, cloudy, golden-bronze days. The bright sunlight with the blazing blue-tile sky, pinioned by red and gold trees. I want the air perfumed by vanilla, cinnamon and apple, warm and sharp and sweet. I’m longing for the pull and draw to prep and store and cozy down for winter, to make my spaces ones of comfort and rest.

I have found myself more and more drawn to fall as I grow older, falling in love with that twilight era of the seasons, the drawing down to a time of dormancy and rest. I love wrapping myself and my dear ones up in the comfort of cozy clothes, amenities, scents, and food. The soothing of flames in a fireplace, candles, or a fire bowl. The compression of piles of sweaters, sweatshirts, and blankets — the safety of their weight. I love filling my spaces with comforts where one can breathe and relax. I love that sense of warmth and home that fall helps me create, the mental and emotional preparations for rest.

I have become a creature of hygge, a devotee of comfort and care, a believer that without rest there is no strength, no hustle without boundaries, no successful growth without periods of dormancy. I long for those days of savoring light and warmth as it begins to leech from the world, storing that glow and glory within myself to carry me and mine through the heavy, cold silence of winter.

When reading Becky Chambers’s Monk and Robot series and learning about Sibling Dex, a tea monk of Allalae, the God of Small Comforts, I felt incredibly seen. Dex is devoted to providing comfort and holding space for people who need a listening ear and kindly comfort. I know my desire and purpose in life and was touched to see its essence lived out in this character and their desire to share commiseration and consolation with others. Eventually, Dex feels drawn to leave their comfort zone for something greater, and, in that process, they must be reminded that they, too, still need the benefits of solace and rest.

This has been my work of the last few years: making sure that I provide comfort and succor for myself as much as I do for others, because I am in as much need of it as they are. I have worked at setting boundaries for myself in my work, holding space for rest and refreshment in my off hours. It has gone a long way to helping my mental and physical health a great deal, I do believe. Comfort–and all the other beauties that Autumn represents and brings– have done me good and will do me good. And all say amen to it.

The Blessing of Hygge

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It was quiet when I woke up — Husband was still asleep beside me, and neither Kiddo nor my mother had stirred out of their rooms yet. Not even the cat was at my door yet. So I decided to take advantage. I slipped out of the bedroom and downstairs for a much-needed hygge morning. I made some coffee, gathered my books, journals, and pens, put some comforting ambiance on TV, and slipped on a new, comfy sweater. Then I settled in to contemplate some simple but beautiful things.

I love the pen I have been writing with lately. It’s a Uniball Air, exhumed from the depths of one drawer or bag or another, and I have been re-discovering just how much I adore it! I don’t know what it is about the construction of these particular pens, but they feel so…dainty yet controlled. It reminds me of someone in China or Japan writing the most delicate characters with just the tip of their brush. Such control and skill! That’s what these pens feel like to me. It as though I am using the daintiest tool yet executing my writing with such elegance, though a different type of elegance entirely from, say, a fountain pen. Needless to say, I ordered more.

When the pen I am writing with feels beautiful, then the writing I do feels beautiful. When the writing I am doing feels beautiful, then I want to do it more. I love writing longhand and did it so often when I was younger, of course. I would fill notebook after notebook with my stories, all painstakingly handwritten. Nowadays, such a practice almost feels like an indulgence: taking that extra time to handwrite when the world is so often encouraging us to work faster, work quicker, do more. Handwriting takes time, it takes thought, and it takes effort…none of which can be rushed.

As the summer starts to wind down and the school year approaches (*digs a trench around myself*), maybe this is my sign to keep on slowing down. Maybe less, with focused intention and attention, is better than a lot. Maybe I need to be more aware of when I am trying to cram in more when what I and my students need is for me to slow down. So maybe I have accidentally stumbled onto a goal for this year, for myself as well for my classes: to slow down and focus on the dainty and the elegant points that might be missed if I rush onward.

Between the Years

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A few days ago, a neighbor and dear friend posted about the German phrase “Zwischen den Jahren”, which translates to “between the years”. It speaks to the state of being represented by that nebulous time between Christmas and New Years. As she puts it, “Time stops at Christmas, continues in slow motion and picks back up in January. It’s a time to stay in, take off work if you can, reflect, be lazy, eat leftovers, read all the new books all day and whatever else helps you reset”. That honestly sounds pretty amazing and special right now. I rather wish we all adopted this attitude of rest, and I am grateful to have the space today and this past week for largely that.

I’ve fallen in love with the Danish concept of hygge over the past few years and the state of Zwischen den Jahren fits so beautifully as a practice that I’ve felt my heart latch onto it almost immediately. As we prepare to big 2022 farewell, I shall spend today with my blankets, fireplace, stacks of books and journals, and the quiet of stillness. I know that I deeply need time like that: moments where I can just be or indulge in lovely things that feed my soul. Yesterday morning, it was coffee and episodes of season 2 of Sanditon that I have been putting off. I am often hard-pressed, as you know, to allow myself time to rest. But learning that stopping and slowing down after the holidays to allow oneself to recover is not just wishful thinking but the practice of an entire country makes it somehow more palpable, even attainable.

I have worked hard to make this holiday special for my dear ones as I also take care of necessities and work. As 2022 ends, though, I want to see it out with gentle reflection and handling of myself, my heart, and my tender soul. I want to sink deep into Zwischen den Jahren, drawing hygge close, and giving myself the rest and comfort I deserve.

And I hope you gift yourself so, too. Happy New Year, Friendly Readers. May it be blest.

“Without constructs, you will unravel few mysteries. Without knowledge of the mysteries, your constructs will fail. These pursuits are what make us, but without comfort, you will lack the strength to sustain either.”
― Becky Chambers, A Psalm for the Wild-Built

Decking New Halls

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I am finishing my coffee before my TO DO list for the day begins and I start prepping for my first holiday season in our new home. I have the food to cook for my little family tomorrow as we tamp down our Thanksgiving celebrations. But now comes the tidying, the cleaning, the preparing, and, after tomorrow, the decorating. I still do not have all the Christmas decorations that I could desire but I know that such stockpiles take time, as I am rebuilding them from scratch since the move.

It feels odd to be preparing to dress up a new house for the first time in twelve years. In our old little cottage–which, by the way, we signed the final sale paperwork for last night (big feels!)–I knew where all my decorations went. I knew how I liked things set up and where things had to go in my living room configuration. Nothing was huge or elaborate, but they were there, a constant reminder of stability. Our tree with its silver, blue, and white ornaments, spattered with sentimental ones, glowed in the living room, crowed with its silver star that Ben and Elizabeth put on together every year. It must be the absolute last thing on the tree. I had the same wreath with its silver and white ribbons and flowers for fourteen years. It had had multiple birds’ nests built into it in early springs and then cleaned out once the babies and parents had vacated. The little potted pre-lit tree (that had been our family Christmas tree while we had a cat and small baby) sat faithfully on the front porch, decorated with flowers, leaves, Easter eggs, etc., throughout the differing seasons by myself and my daughter. The silver stockings hung on their snowflake hangers from the dvd shelf, under the compilation frame of family photos and frame by fir branches with silver poinsettas. The nativity scene that my Erin brought back for me from Malawi was set up on the bookshelf, the camel I found at Levi Coffin Days (an almost-perfect match) tucked in amongst the wise men to complete the set.

This year, I will need to figure out just how things will fit in this new house with its new rooms and spaces. I know where the tree is going, and we have a “glowy star” this year, per my daughter’s request and choosing. I haven’t bought any stockings or hangers for the mantlepiece yet (I have a real actual mantlepiece, you guys!), though truly the only one whose stocking gets stuffed any more is my daughter. She has her new one for her door already picked out. Harry Potter, of course.

So this will be a year of starting new in more ways than one. I am trying not to think about not having “enough” to decorate my house this year. What I really want is for my home to be warm, welcoming, and soothing because this will be a holiday season that is already missing some very important people. So I want my home to be a place of uplifting, hygge, and comfort for those hard moments. I want that Christmas-y feeling. Not to avoid the hard moments necessarily but to help them perhaps be not quite so heavy.

I’m trying, dear ones, I really am. But Target is calling my name…

Pausing to Rest

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As I tipped the trash bag into the hopper and let the lid fall, I paused on my shuffle back to the house over the icy drive and just stood still. I let the silence of the winter night, the temperature rapidly dropping, settle over me and just…rested in it for a long moment.

Have you ever listened to the world freeze over? I did. I could hear the creak of branches under the weight of the freezing snow and the muted boom of expanding ice birthing cracks and potential potholes in the streets. My eyelashes sparkled with shimmering snowflakes that fluttered to spangle the black of my sweater as they swirled and winked in the arc of light cast by the fixture beside the backdoor.

I remembered a night similar to this, almost twenty years ago, when I tripped merrily home from a campus formal. I recalled the dusting of snow on the sidewalk glinting like fairy dust under my feet and the hem of my gown in the blue moonlight and how beautiful I felt in that moment. Smiling at the memory, I just stood there, drinking the peace of a winter night, its stillness, its deep, slow breathing, and its call to rest.

Then the single-digit-chill wind decided I needed a nudge back to reality and gusted up to cajole me on into the house. “Before the cold catches up to you…” it seemed to whisper, dusting one last sparkle of snowflakes over me before I turned to go inside.

A moment’s rest can be just what you need, especially when it leaves you with a pleasant little shiver.

Nestling into the New Year

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Two more days left in 2019. In these days of limbo between the 26th and the 1st, I am trying to embrace the quiet, take in the silence before the new year. I am trying to rest intentionally before the madness starts all over again.

I have also been trying to think of my word for 2020, a word to guide my thoughts, work, and growth, as well as my writing, for the year. So I have been considering what it is I want to accomplish in 2020. I know that I want to recreate my relationship with Winter, with its silence, bleakness, and dormancy. I want to find the ways to benefit from this season, which is necessary to the process of growth: a restful time. I want to re-learn how to rest.

Is that my word then? Rest? Rest for my body. Rest and peace for my soul. Resting in faith, contentment, and gratitude. Taking moments to step back, to embrace quiet and rest in the midst of all that is going on and all I am striving for.

Rest.

I will admit that, when this word first came to mind a few days ago, I resisted it. “Rest isn’t a goal. Isn’t an intention!” I told myself. But what else could it be when even the plants and animals bear witness to its necessity? We human begins are the ones who have bought into the idea of hustle, of constant going and work and striving. Of shoving quiet and stillness to the side, cursing them as unproductive or lazy. But how can we do our best without a chance to rest? How can I?

I need rest. And I have already begun! In the past few days, I have risen in the quiet of my still-sleeping household. I have embraced early-morning, snow-deep silence. Even today, I have sat here in my hushed living room, the only soundtrack the crackling fireplace flames, for the past two hours. It hails windily outside our little cottage, but, within, my tree twinkles sweetly and an amber candle fills the air with its warm scent, drawing my senses and spirit down into relaxation. I have been nestled on the couch with blanket, books, pen, and coffee–reading, praying, writing–while my beloved daughter takes her fun upstairs and has been miraculously quiet herself. Our house has been full of rest this morning. And, as I look back over my writings for the past weeks, I see it. Subtly hidden or staring boldly out at me. I see my desire for it, my need for it, writ plain on my soul.

Rest.

Yes. In 2020, I will re-learn what it means to rest. To seek and find it, to gift it, and to create an atmosphere of it in my small spaces of the world.

That is my intention. That is my goal.

I will rest.