Last Friday, I had my first prenatal appointment. Oh, for those of you who don’t know, I’m about three months pregnant. My new OBGYN is very nice, I like her. I got go through all the mortification of a pelvic and breast exam, but we also got to hear the baby’s heartbeat. It was loud and strong. I know that made Ben feel really good, to know that something is actually there. That it’s not a mistake or a fluke or anything like that. I would hate to have done something like that to him with my body.
Yesterday was rough for me. I was tired and moody (read: angry, annoyed, teary) and I hated every minute of it. The cookout with Ben’s parents was nice and I got a few quiet minutes with Ben by the fire after they left, before we put it out. And I apologized to him for my moodiness that day. I think part of me what overwhelmed with what he wanted to do; he’s looking into getting a new vehicle, something with 4-wheel drive, since the baby will be born in mid-winter. That, along with needing to get our Caliber fixed and the possibilities of renovations to the house for the baby…the money involved in all of this scares me a bit. I’m doing my best to take it one day at a time, but I think yesterday I was dealing with just being scared and overwhelmed by it all.
We’re having a baby! Ben had his freak-out moment last night when we went to bed, which caused me to start a bit, too. Though he made me chuckle, saying, “No, this is my freak-out moment. We can’t both freak out at the same time. You be encouraging.” He has been encouraging and gentle through my every freak-out moment since we found out, many of which have been accompanied by tears. They aren’t nearly as explosive now but that nervousness, that worry never actually leaves. I just hope the old wives’ tales aren’t true and it doesn’t affect the baby.
3 thoughts on “New Developments – June 11, 2012”
Oh, sweetie. You’re gonna rock this, hardcore. And believe me, the old wives’ tales are completely untrue. If they were, I’d have the most unhappy baby, what with how miserable I was during my pregnancy. Instead I have a sunny, independent young miss I wouldn’t trade out for the world.
It’s normal to freak out. You’ll do great. 🙂
Freaking out will not hurt the baby any more than bottling in the emotions would, but yes do trade off on the moments. You’ll both be wonderful parents. I heart you!