self-care

A Long Way from Home – Day 6: What Am I Waiting For?

Leave a comment

Highlights from my morning reading: 

Simply Tuesday, Chapter 5: “Success and Envy”, by Emily P. Freeman:

“True smallness is an invitation to live as I was meant to live, to accept my humanity, and to offer my ability and my inability, my sin and my success, my messes and my masterpieces into the hands of God.” – pg 94

“What is good for my inner health is often frustrating for my work [as a hard worker who is also a slow processor].” – pg 95

“The soul and the schedule don’t follow the same rules.” – pg 95

“I cannot wait for the world to stop to embrace my permission for slow.” – pg 96

“And here’s to not letting our slowness boss us. Embrace it and learn it, but don’t force perfection. Let slow do what slow does best: nourish, strengthen, and hold.” – pg 97

= = = =

When  I read the bolded statement above, I gave a little mental wince, as if I had been caught out. And I was in a way. This is what I have been doing, is it? Waiting for the world to stop, or to at least pause a little, so I can embrace slow for my soul and take some rest. Something this week is teaching me is that I cannot wait around for someone to offer to slow my world down for me, to give me a chance to rest and care for myself. I have to take the initiative, ask for the help, and slow down when I need to slow down.

My weariness is catching up with me. I can truly feel it today, the tiredness sitting heavily on me, urging me to just stay in bed and sleep, sleep, sleep. Unfortunately, that’s not entirely possible with a three-year-old child and grandparents with their own schedules and engagements to keep. So I have done my best today to occupy my daughter with her own self-activities in between play time and meals so that I can rest as much as I can. It’s been a good day.

The days are winding down and soon I will be home but I will do my best to make the best of these days, to slow and rest and to listen and come away when my heart and soul feel called.

A Long Way From Home – Day 5: Taking Care of Me

Leave a comment

Total honesty right now: the thought of this trip honestly terrified me for the better part of a month. Ten days away from home, sans my husband, my partner, my helpmeet? But, while I miss him deeply and dearly, I have made a discovery this week. Well, a re-discovery.

Self-care feels amazing! I am a better me when I do it, when I take care of me.

I have taken time every day so far this week to do something just for me. Something that I want or feel called to do. Whether it’s to take a walk, sing, sleep, write, read, script emails or letters, whatever. And it feels just grand! It has been a long while since I cared for myself, despite the many, many, MANY admonitions and insistences of loved ones. It is not for lack of support or help but usually out of a stubborn inner-thought that I need to handle this by myself, pull my weight, that I need to take care of everyone. This became starkly apparent to me when, on a Sunday morning, as I rushed through combing my hair for church as my husband was putting our daughter into her car seat for us to leave, I had a brutally honest thought:

I take care of myself the least.

It has reverberated back through my mind over the past few weeks. I’m not saying it to brag or to make it a point of pride. It’s the way I am, for the most part. The way I have always been. But this week is reminding me of the importance of self-care and the lessons that I have learned from such women as Jessica Turner (The Fringe Hours), Lysa TerKeurst (Unglued), and Emily P. Freeman (Simply Tuesday) about embracing the small moments and giving myself time to recoup and replenish. After all, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Self-care not only refreshes me physically and helps to balance me emotionally and mentally, but I also find myself more spiritually attuned, more ready to sit and listen for and hear and see God in the everyday, in the small moments, and the fringe hours hidden within each day. That is just amazing and uplifting and challenging all at the same time. I am hoping that and working to make this a habit for when I return home, to my everyday Tuesdays. That I will continue to take time for self-care and soul refreshing/replenishment. It really does do wonders!

self-care-is-a-divine-responsibility

Where to Start

Leave a comment

“I know I need self-care, to do some things just for me. But, honestly, right now I’m not sure where to even start.” 

I said those exact words to a friend the other night as we worked out together. When we were done working out, I didn’t feel the satisfaction that I have in the past really. I was just tired. Tired from the workout, tired from being sick, tired from going and doing, tired from being stuck in the house with a recuperating toddler. I haven’t really cared for myself in the past two weeks, save for a hot shower here and there and the occasional bit of ice cream. I need some serious self-care. But I am a bit at a loss for just how to start that process of refilling my cups and spoon drawer, of gathering all the pieces of myself back home together and seeing them all put together as a beautiful whole.

But, today, without even really determining to, I found that I was as utterly true to myself as I could be. I was gifted with precious words and ideas and accepted them as divine appointment and encouragement, even if they were not necessarily the normal places in which I looked for or expected spiritual nourishment. I wrote letters for those who could use a little more light and love this Christmas season. I chatted with a dear friend and we smiled as our daughters babbled and giggled back and forth at each other across the miles through the computer screens.

I dressed to feel pretty. I got out of the house. I delivered notes to friends. I picked up packages at the post office and smiled as the wonderful lady who works there doted on my daughter. I donated where I felt led. I walked and smiled at other shoppers as my girl waved her hellos. I was patient and pleasant with overwrought salespeople and rejoiced in the treasures found. I wrapped and packaged those treasures in paper and bound them up with the joy they will hopefully bring to their recipients.

Now evening is here and my husband is singing “Rainbow Connection” with Bizzy (yes, she actually sings along) in an attempt to get her to settle and accept that, yes, it actually is bedtime (She is quite adamant that it is not and that she wants to play with her toys). And really I am full of a single thought, a single feeling that threads into everything else I am feeling right now.

It’s been a good day.

As for my self-care, I think today was a good place to start.

Self-Care-Permission1

Sinking into Me

Leave a comment

Fierce, fearless, confident.

Come and get me if you dare.

It’s sinking into myself

And being happy with what I find there.

Happy enough not be afraid,

To be boldly

And unabashedly

Me.

I will look at myself in the best possible light,

Just be me,

And be happy with me.

It is my constant goal,

A light I grab at on the path I walk,

And it is wonderful.

Life's enjoyment

Life’s enjoyment

Searching for a little balance

Leave a comment

Quotes from chapter 2 of The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You, by Jessica N. Turner:

“When we live using our God-given talents and passions, I believe we are pleasing him and more fully living the life we were born to live.”

“In our mess, God makes us strong. In your glorious imperfection, you can still shine beautifully bright. Embrace that truth. Stop trying to be everything for everyone and start investing in who and what really matters.” (Emphasis mine)

I have always felt the need to be everything for everyone (or what everyone expects) and to be excellent at it, what’s more. Still do at times, to be perfectly honest. I am trying to better learn and practice self-care. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about everyone. It just means I care about myself, too. I know the burnout that comes from stretching too thin or giving so much outside of me that there’s nothing left for me – time, emotion, thought, etc. I’m endeavoring to find that precious balance and this book is very encouraging this far. ^_^