I started my Christmas shopping today, and in the past I have found a joy in it. But not today, not really. I felt worse the longer I went on with it, though I did make a good dent in my list. But I felt depressed; I always do at Christmas time. And I think I know why.

I feel depressed because I always want to do more. I want to give my family more. More than just mere things. I want to give them trips, new experiences, chances to learn new things, see sights they have only dreamt of. I want to give them the world, but I don’t have it.

When I was in college, a friend of mine who couldn’t afford presents for her friends did something incredibly sweet. She gave each of us a letter and, in that letter, she told what she would have given us if she could give what she truly wanted. For me, she gave me the role of Lucy in Jekyll & Hyde on Broadway. It’s my favorite musical. That meant a lot – the thought, the gesture, all of it. And all without a physical gift.

I want to do great things for those I love. I want to give them the world, even if I can’t give them the world.