‘Tis the Season

Today is December 1st but I wasn’t feeling it at all. Of course, that could have been due to the extremely busy morning I had. However, once we made it to church and started singing hymns, it was brought home  to me most powerfully that we are in the Christmas season. And it made my heart warm. I love Christmas hymns and all the memories that they invoke when I hear/sing them. I remember 22 years of singing those hymns and Chrismas songs with family and friends, in choir, in church, and around the house, and how it raised my spirits and filled me with that unmistakable “feeling” that is the Christmas season to me. I know that Christmas is more than songs, decorations, gifts, etc., but there is something about the music that just makes me FEEL Christmas-y.

Our neighbors are putting up their lights. I, in my turn,  will get my tree and decorations up this week and start wrapping presents (though they will be hidden away until Christmas Eve because my daughter likes to eat paper and is mobile enough to get her hands on a present before Mommy notices). Time for the Christmas candles and little touches of winter here and there throughout my house. Christmas parties, dinners, and gifts for friends.

Yep. ‘Tis the Season!

NaBloPoMo Day 8: Shopping Blues

I started my Christmas shopping today, and in the past I have found a joy in it. But not today, not really. I felt worse the longer I went on with it, though I did make a good dent in my list. But I felt depressed; I always do at Christmas time. And I think I know why.

I feel depressed because I always want to do more. I want to give my family more. More than just mere things. I want to give them trips, new experiences, chances to learn new things, see sights they have only dreamt of. I want to give them the world, but I don’t have it.

When I was in college, a friend of mine who couldn’t afford presents for her friends did something incredibly sweet. She gave each of us a letter and, in that letter, she told what she would have given us if she could give what she truly wanted. For me, she gave me the role of Lucy in Jekyll & Hyde on Broadway. It’s my favorite musical. That meant a lot – the thought, the gesture, all of it. And all without a physical gift.

I want to do great things for those I love. I want to give them the world, even if I can’t give them the world.