Author: Melissa Snyder

Melissa Snyder https://awriterbecoming.wordpress.com Melissa Snyder is an introvert with a flair for the dramatic in her writing. She is a wife, mother, teacher, compulsive writer, voracious reader, and fierce defender of Love and Imagination. She likes to write about faith (her own and faith in general) and self and emotion and society and hobbies, as well as revealing the myriad paracosms that inhabit her mind. These paper bullets of the brain live in her blog and on Facebook where she endeavors to write about life and Imagination boldly and share honestly.

Advent 2025 ~ Light

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Week 3 — Light

As Winterdark quickly approaches, I am, as ever, drawn to the light. Candlelight, twinkling lights, soft lamps. I want light but not harsh light. Not light that shocks the senses but, rather, I want light that warms you and invites you gently in to sit, rest, stay for a while. Light should gather you in, hold you close, and soothe the jagged, ragged edges caused by stress and anxiety and care.

When I am scared, I turn on the lights. When I am weary-worn, then I sidle up to the softest of it, to the candle flames and twinkling Christmas-tree glow. To the light of nostalgic cartoons and movies that remind me “what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown”.

As we head into the long dark that will give way to the growing day, I pray that you find your light this season—the light that will soothe your soul and warm your weary self. You are ever loved, dear one. May your Winterdark be blest as we bend toward the light.

Advent 2025 ~ Home

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Week 2 ~ Home

As Winter breathes her cold blessing over us, showering us with snow and ice, the silvery white of it makes the dark night glow and spangles the daylight air with diamonds. As beautiful as that all may be, however, there is something that many may consider even more so: the inside of their warm domicile. As winter settles in and makes herself comfortable, we in turn snuggle deeper into our spaces–our apartments, our houses, our homes.

Is it the warmth alone, though, that makes these spaces home? 

This is a question that I recently posed to my middle-school students, my Heroes as I call them: “What makes a place home for you?” The answers I received were very interesting.

For some, home is simply the place they live, the house or city they currently occupy,  the familiar and everyday.

For others, home is someplace else: a camp or a grandparents’ house where they always have a good time.

For others still, home is no one place. Rather, it is anywhere that they feel loved, accepted, and comfortable. Sometimes that home is a person or group of people with whom they can always feel safe and utterly themselves. No need to be perfect or strong or the life of the party. Home is where they can simply be.

That last type of answer is the one that resonates the most for me. I did not learn until I went to college that home for me is not a place. When I went off to school, I came to the realization that, yes, I missed the people that I love, but, no, I did not really miss the area that I had grown up in. And this is still true. There are things about Indiana that I vastly prefer to my Caribbean beginnings, such as the changing of the seasons (and no hurricanes). But, on the whole, I have come to learn that what makes places feel like home is the people that they hold for me. People who love me and whom I love. People who accept me but challenge me in the same turn. People who welcome me with love and laughter and to be fully myself. People who share and encourage my faith. People recognize that, though I choose kindness and softness, I am not a weak flower. I am a being with light under her skin.

Home is where that light glows warm, safe to blaze bright and brilliant. Home is the presence of those who have helped me find and cultivate that light and my sense of self. And I thank God for that every day. Home is a beauty and peace of feeling, of knowing that, with these souls, I matter, am significant, and belong. 

I hope you find your home this Holiday season and are able to rest in its beauty, comfort, and peace.

Advent 2025 ~ Quiet

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Advent 2025

Week 1 ~ Quiet

December is only a week old, and Winter has arrived to wrap her frigid arms around our state. We have had a couple significant snowfalls already, with icy patches still left over from Monday night’s snow. And I am loving every moment of it!

Twenty-five years ago this winter, I discovered that there is no quiet so profound as that of snowfall and a world covered with a fresh, white blanket. I walked my college campus in the fluttery snowfall, astounded at how silent everything had become, no sound except for the crunch of my boots as I made my mark on a fresh, new world. I saw snow for the first time when I was nine years old, but that was all excitement, novelty, and play. I know for a fact that I didn’t appreciate this particularly beautiful aspect of winter at that time. Now, whenever the snow is falling, I try to step out onto the porch or into the doorway to listen as it hushes the world. I listen as it muffles the rush, quiets the hustle, and silences the busyness. We are forced to slow our cars, our steps, our plans. When we slow down, we can also quiet down.

I love the deep emptiness of snowfall-quiet, like the whole world is asleep and I alone am awake to witness its secret beauty. It softens the world, smoothing the rough edges and lines into graceful curves. The snow seems to gentle the harshness, reflecting even the light pollution back into the darkness in a starlight blue so we can see even in what should be the deepest of shadows. And isn’t that what we all need most in this season? Softness and light, gentleness and moments of stillness? Sometimes it makes me wonder if the “silent night” the songwriter describes is not indeed a night of moonlit snowfall.

In that snowy quiet, I am reminded that we are given a gift–the gift of Presence, where we are welcomed into Jesus’s arms and lap. A place of rest, reassurance, and recovery in the hollow of His presence and memory. That silent space where His love softens the edges of existence. As we move further into this Advent and winter season, may we slow down and submerge into the quiet. May we let it soften our moments, calm the crazy, and hold the precious close. Stand in the quiet, sink into the silence, and slow the rush. Maybe snowfall-quiet is here just so we can remember what it means to exist in heavenly peace.

Adding My Piece of Cozy (Publishing Announcement!)

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Hello, Dear Friends!

I have absolutely fantastic news, and I’m so excited! Back in September, I received an email from Christen Hammons, the editor-in-chief of Bella Grace Magazine.

“Hi, Melissa,

Congratulations! I’m so pleased to share that we would like to publish this piece in the upcoming The Cozy Issue, which hits newsstands on November 1.”

The piece she is referring to is “A Vision of Slow”. I submitted this piece to Bella Grace two years ago and had completely forgotten about it until I received this communication. I have been holding onto this for a month and a half, completely chuffed but kind of unsure until I could actually hold it in my hands, and…that day is finally here!

Bella Grace: The Cozy Issue 2025 released officially yesterday and can be found at Barnes & Noble Booksellers.

What is Saving My Autumn Life

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Fall Romance Novels ~ I have fallen absolutely in love with Autumn-set romances and romantasies this year. Over my Fall Break week, as I healed from a wisdom-teeth surgery, Lyra Parish’s Fall I Want became everything to me. All I wanted to do was curl up in the recliner with my pumpkin blanket, a cup of coffee, and my cat Jack and read this heartwarming, sweet love story. Fall is my favorite season, and the warmth that exudes from these books is such a soul-soother. Also on my TBR this season are: Must Love Libraries and Libations by Maisy Magill, The Autumn Leaf Bookshop by Kay Michaels, Kindling by Bonnie Woods, and Uncharmed by Lucy Jane Wood.

Kpop Music ~ Thanks to a dear friend and the sheer golden enjoyment that is Netflix’s Kpop Demon Hunters, as well as my existence as a lifelong boyband girl, I have fallen in love with Kpop music. My particular group is Ateez. Their songs make me bounce and sing and smile, and that is always something I treasure. I love to sing, I love to dance, and I love when music makes my body so happy that I just have to bounce. It has been an absolute mood-saver throughout my healing process.

Fall-scented Candles ~ I always stock up on my fall candles, and my house constantly smells like pumpkin-something these days. It is part of my transference routine when I get home, lighting a candle before I head upstairs to change clothes. That way, when I get back downstairs to settle on the couch, the air is warm and sweetly-scented, and I know that I am home.

Romanticizing My Fall Wardrobe ~ I have begun reimagining my fall outfits: pairing sweaters and flowy skirts, cardigans and dresses, tights and over-the-knee socks with my ankle boots, over-the-knee boots with my jeans. A sunflower-crown headband here and a bow at my temple there, letting the lightning streaks in my curls shimmer and shine in the autumn sunlight. As I told a coworker, I am happily in my soft girl era, and I will not be taking questions or commentary on this issue. In my off hours, I am wrapped in warm, cozy comfies, sweet pumpkin slippers, and two of the softest, most deliciously comfortable blankets I have ever owned! I am hoping for a nice, long autumn to glory in.

Re-starting the Fire

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Last night, my little family had our first cookout and fire of the autumn season. After hot dogs and smores were eaten, Kiddo went inside and left me and their dad to our drinks and apple pie Oreos by the firebowl. As the flames flickered and died down and the sticks within the bowl began to smoke, we just sat in contented conversation. Then, quietly and determinedly, the embers seemed to find fresh kindling, and the sweet orange flames began to lick up again, seemingly out of nowhere. But somewhere in that bowl, something touched an ember and re-started its fire.

I have felt that way over the past 24-36 hours. On Saturday, I ran to the bookstore in the search of a book that had caught my attention online and sounded just too sweet to be true. The cover instantly reminded me of another beloved favorite — Love Kindness by Barry H. Corey. So, successfully, I garnered a copy of, in fact, the sunshiniest book I have seen in a long while — The Incredible Kindness of Paper by Evelyn Skye.

And this book, from the opening page, like that quiet bit of kindling, reignited a fire within me. An old love that never quite went away but has fallen into quieter forms of late. The paper roses with their kindly messages that float throughout this novel reminded me of my own love for the spirit of encouragement. I used to go through life with a packet of pre-written notes in my purse to leave on tables, in books, on lockers, on bathroom mirrors, and coffeeshop counters. I was taught the gift of encouragement at my mother’s knee and gifted new ideas to expand upon it by lovely people like Hannah Brencher (Love Letters to Strangers). It was so wonderful to hear from folks in my little Indiana town that they had found one of my notes at the coffeeshop or the bank and had passed it on to someone else who they thought could use it. That is the entire point! Love is fullest when it is shared, after all.

Reading Evelyn’s beautiful story now, I feel my heart connecting to the FMC’s and her desire to encourage the world, and it has awakened a yearning in me to share love and kindness and encouragement widely again. Therefore, I am now armed with close to 30 notes with messages that I tried my best to follow my heart with. I left two in books at the grocery store already this afternoon, and I am looking ridiculously forward to leaving a few on random lockers around my school when we head back after the holiday weekend.

I want to devour the rest of this book like icy water on a hot day and bask in the refreshment for my spirit. And, at the same time, I want to take it piece by piece and savor the story with all its sunshiny sweetness in a world that so often is less so. Either way, though, I know I shall be blessed in the reading.

Thank you, Evelyn, in advance and, oh, so much! I can already tell that this is about to become one of my favorite stories.

Craving the Change (Again!)

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I have lingered in the longering days and now I am craving again. The meterologists say that it’s our first “false Fall” of the season, with temperatures starting to dip and mellow out. They say it won’t last, but I do not care if it is “false”. Gimme! Give me cooler days and much cooler nights. Give me fall-scented candles and cozy cuddles under blankets. Give me bonfires and fireplaces, flickering warm light in the soonering dark.

I have lingered and now I am craving change. I am craving the season when home becomes more and more the primary locale. I am craving the gathering in and cozying down to prepare for rest in the long dark of winter. I am yearning for the physical trappings of hygge, of shifting the decor of my home into warm sunset colors, tempting aromas, and comfy textures that encourage you to burrow in and snuggle down. I’m excited to add fall touches to my pastel classroom, a new shade of Autumn. I am looking forward to redressing my tree (which has stayed up all year, true to my word) with golds, bronzes, plums, and maroons, for pumpkins, sunflowers, and chrysanthemums to bloom all over my little hobbit hole.

I am itching for the shift, not only in season but in mindset. Autumn is for gathering together, for sharing time, love, smiles, and laughs. I want my home to warm and welcoming, smelling of sweet things that make you want to, yes, linger…stay. I miss and want my dear ones. I miss their hugs, laughs, and snuggles. I want nostalgic movies that we can all quote by heart and know every note of every song. I’m ready to live in my hoodies, bundle in my knits, wrap up in my shawls, and flounce about in my long flannel skirts.

I am ready for change. I am simping for slow. I am craving cozy.

Fall, you are welcome for as long as you want to stay.

What’s Saving My Life at the End of Summer

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A Recliner: Husband’s den is now home to two comfy rocker-recliners instead of a futon. The one to the left is Husband’s because it offers the best angle of the television, and I have claimed the other one. It is glorious! I love to sit there, next to my person, and do my thing while he games. Needless to say, I have fallen asleep multiple times in said recliner, safe and warm and comfy. I love being able to be in the same room and parallel play with my partner. We are very Carl and Ellie.

AppleTV: Through a purchase at Target, we got a 2-month free trial of AppleTV. So, lately, we have been taking time almost every night to watch episodes of the new Chief of War and the long-running Foundation, the latter of which we have long been interested in, but we did not have the budget for another streaming service. So we have been enjoying getting immersed in these layered stories, enjoying this dedicated time together with something that is just ours.

Books/Reading: I am, as you know, a voracious reader but I am also a mood reader. Sometimes I need to change the book I am reading based on the mood I am currently in. If I need immersion, complete submersion in a deep story and its world, right now I am grabbing Blood over Bright Haven by M.L. Wang. A detailed academic fantasy, it has the “crunchiest” magic system I have ever encountered in a fiction novel. I frequently have to stop and talk my way through it with Husband so the mechanics stick with me. On another hand, if I want funny, witty, and romantic, I’m currently picking up Kirsten Vale’s A Tale of Mirth and Magic. It has made me smile from the get-go, practically singing to get my fingers’ attention in the bookstore. Being able to curl up with a book and sink into someone else’s story after having been center-stage all day is an absolute joy and a deep need for me. It is keeping me in a state of congruence when I can sink into soft, quiet shadows again and watch someone else dazzle.

Hobbitizing Our Home: We are the type of people who use household items until they fall apart. After almost 6 years, the time has come for us to change out the everyday dishes and cookware in our cabinets. As we looked around, we made some conscious decisions along the lines of continuing to make our little home sweeter and cozier. We are leaning hard into our hobbit era. This is why our cabinets are now full of lovely little white china plates and bowls with a mint-green floral motif, a tea kettle and kitchen mat to match them, and extra sets of melamine plates and bowls in coordinating mint green, soft pink, and smooth gray. Our new cookware — pots and pans — are also minty green, all of which makes my little cottagecore soul very happy. Husband loves to host so I am looking forward to the fall and being able to welcome friends and dear ones over to our cozy home for delicious meals of stews and whatnot as the months turn colder.

Sweet Shower Stuffs: A long, just-shy-of-scalding shower is one of my greatest pleasures in life, and I love to pamper myself with lovely smelling shower stuffs — body wash, moisturizers, body sprays, etc. The new Dove Garden Tea Party collection is my current obsession. I love the Rose Berry Bouquet and Velvet Fig Blossom scents! They are creamy, soft, sweet, and lingering, and they make me feel very lovely, even if I am the only one who can smell me. It just adds that extra touch of luxury to my shower time that makes me want to “dance in the indoor rain” just a little bit longer.

Apple Pie Oreos: Yes, you read that right. This season Oreo has an Apple Pie a la Mode flavor, and I am here for it! I already love the golden Oreos more than the chocolate ones, so adding apple to it just elevates the deliciousness, in my humble opinion. It has become one of those treats that makes me smile to look forward to. I have managed not to gobble them all up in one go (as, yes, I am sharing with the family), but I will definitely be buying more to make the deliciousness last.

So? What is saving your life here towards the end of summer?

What is Saving My Summer Life

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 June is done (uggggggh!), and I hate the idea that summer’s almost half over. But here is what is saving my life in these summer months.

  1. Dresses – I am a deep lover of flowy, graceful dresses. Stores like Altar’d State and JessaKae were absolutely made for my aesthetic, if not my wallet. Dresses have always helped me feel my glorious as a feminine figure. Over the past few years, I have leaned into my cottagecore joy with long, full skirts, gauzy sleeves, lots of ruffles, and all the pastels, lacing a romantic air through the most mundane of daily tasks: getting dressed. I recently cleared out several old dresses that were being kept more for nostalgia’s sake than actual wear, reminisced about how pretty they had made me feel, and then packed them up with a whispered blessing for the next girl who finds her glorious in them. Then I coordinated and organized my remaining dresses so my side of the closet is now a gorgeous riot of fluttery rainbow color. I’m still squee-ing about it!
  1. Reading/Books – I am continuing to gobble up stories as fast as I can. I feel bereft if I do not have something to read, to fill my mind with “voices and stories and friends as dear to me as any in the real world” (Little Women, 1994). So far this summer I have devoured seven books, mostly fantasies and historical fiction with a splash of romance for good measure. It is so fun to read things that are unserious and just for the pure enjoyment of the act. Last night, I laid in Spare Oom (my cottagecore-inspired space/guest bedroom), lying in the bed with my mother while she watched old reruns of Archie Bunker. I had my book, she had her show, and we were just laid there together in companionable silence, occasionally broken by one of us making a comment to the cat, who had of course made himself exceeding comfy (belly to the sky) between us on the bed. I have found myself more drawn to my books than my TV shows of late, content to sit in my bed or in the companion recliner in my husband’s den and just inhale story after story. Quite a few of the books I have read have been debut novels, and I am doing my best to make sure that I leave good reviews for those authors so they know how much I appreciate their work. As it is, I post on social media and tag them whenever available so they know just how their hard work is paying off and touching souls. I am also obsessed with pretty books, the ones with gorgeous covers, endpapers, illustrations, and beautiful sprayed/stenciled edges. They are works of art that simply cannot be overlooked. **Side note: if you ever want to give me a gift, give me a book with lovely, stenciled edges. I honestly do not care what the book is; that is utterly beside the point.
  1. Fans – I love to collect hand fans. Carved, lacy, silk, paper, small and soft, large and loud…it doesn’t matter. I love them! They are a beautiful nostalgia for the Sunday evenings when I would sit with my grandmother in church and she would fan me with her gorgeous lace fan or even (gasp!) let me hold it and fan myself. My collection started with a gift from my mother’s coworkers for my college graduation (a genuine fan from Hong Kong) and has just grown from there. I cannot pass up a pretty fan! Recently, I have started taking them everywhere with me. My bag or purse almost always has a fan in it. I even keep one in my desk drawer at work, just in case the unthinkable happens and my always-cold classroom crashes out. It also feeds into my love for the classic feminine aesthetic. Knowing me, my next collection will be parasols.
  1. Water – I hated drinking water as a kid; it tasted like nothing and therefore had no interest for me. Nowadays, through fervent re-conditioning of myself, I cannot cope without a cup of ice water close to hand. I will choose that over just about anything else when it comes to beverages, and I have finally discovered the truth to my mother’s lifelong claims that nothing can hit the spot like cold water. I now have my own collection of pretty tumblers and water cups so that, no matter where I am (home, work, gym, car), I have water close to hand. I am working hard to remember that I need to treat myself like the lovely flower I am and water myself regularly.

As we enter July, I really hope that you find some things that can help to save your life this summer. Things that give you hope and joy, even if they make sense to no one else but you. You deserve that. Always. Meanwhile, I’m off to be a public nuisance at the bookstore with my big-skirted dresses and fans.

For the Love of my Forties

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I recently became the “answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything”! In other words, I turned 42, and, once again, Jen Hatmaker was right!

I find that I am still fiercely in love with my forties. I cannot fully explain just why I love it so much, but I do believe that part of it is that there is a freedom that I feel in being in my forties.

A freedom to do as I want, to speak up for what is right, to enjoy what I enjoy without any need to explain myself to anyone.

A freedom to remove things from my balance beam that do not serve me or bring me joy.

I do not mean that I am avoiding hard work (I do plenty of that), only that I am practicing more discernment over how I am spending my energy and who/what I am spending it on. I do believe that it is helping my anxiety, thankfully. I only wish that we could see a direct correlation between laughter and its efficacy on one’s health. If it were so, I and several of my dear ones would be damn near medically perfect after a recent get-together. There was so much happiness, such a sense of joy and, for me, comfort in laughing belly-deep with some of my favorite people for hours. I shall definitely have to do that again and soon. It was simple, it was fun, and it was just what I wanted.

It was the most perfect celebration of a joyous birthday. I look forward to learning more and more as I go, for the love of my forties.