encouragement

What is Saving My Summer Life 2026

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As summer deepens with the beginning of July, here are some of the sun-bright glimmers that are saving my life and refreshing my soul.

🫰🏽Pursuit of Jade (2026, Netflix)

Based on the popular Chinese historical romance web novel Zhu Yu, written by Tuan Zi Lai Xi, Pursuit of Jade is a sweeping, elegant, costume drama that dropped onto Netflix back in March. There are 40-episodes in this story, which I finished less than 24 hours ago as of the time of this writing. I have to admit that I have never—and I mean NEVER—watched anything as romantic as this series, with the exception of the gorgeous anime My Happy Marriage (which is its own enthralling, beautiful love story). Pursuit of Jade is brilliantly acted (Zhang Linghe’s subtle yet powerful expressions make me fall in love every time he’s on screen, and Tian Xiwei is the most stunning woman I have ever seen in her ability to portray both outward and inward beauty and warmth); it is gorgeously set and dressed (I have seen full-budget films that weren’t half as beautiful and detailed); and it’s full of characters that you love and love to hate, along with plot twists that will make your head spin. I have always loved wuxia (martial heroes) epics, ever since Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon ushered in a beautiful era of Chinese film on the American markets. Among my favorites are: Hero, Fearless, House of Flying Daggers, and Curse of the Golden Flower. So, if you are looking for an at-home cinematic experience this summer, I highly suggest that you invest the time and effort into Pursuit of Jade. Trust me, subtitles are not that scary. And they are worth the story.

🫰🏽Extended Friend Time

For two weekends in a row, I was able to spend time with two besties that I absolutely DO NOT get enough of. Allison—a dear friend of fifteen years—stayed over while she was participating in a Disney’s Lorcana TCG tournament/convention downtown, and it was brilliant to get to indulge in extra-long couch time with her over those days. I also got to rejoice with her in her game goodies, autographs, pictures, and loot haul from the tournament, which is ALWAYS a good time!

The following weekend, Michele, another bestie (former teaching colleague), joined me for not one but TWO k-pop events. If you do not know what k-pop is, Google is very helpful. ^_~ Thursday night, we couch-rotted, caught up, and watched the Kingdom: Legendary War Korean music survival show (watching a bunch of talented men cheer and encourage each other on in their art/passion/careers was so very healing!). Then, early Friday morning, we trekked out to Barnes and Noble for a pop-up event for the release of Ateez’s new mini-album “Golden Hour: Part 5”! It was so very much fun to meet other fans in line, hear their stories, get our merch, and then sit down in the cafe with other fans to unbox and trade/share all our goodies. The excitement and joy were just palpable, and it made my heart so happy to be in the midst of it! Exuberant things like that are what the world needs more of. I got utterly lost in the wondrous chaos both in person and online surrounding the album release, and it was the greatest of highs! 

The following day, we ventured to another pop-up store event. We weren’t entirely sure that we had the right place at first, as we got there early and it was a beauty supply shop. But as soon as it turned 9am, my Kiddo leapt out of the car, hurrying us adults up with, “It’s open! Let’s go!” So, of course, in we went. The pop-up was indeed there, and it was awesome!  We were the first ones in the door and there was so much stuff to browse through! I built up my Ateez photocard collection a bit more, and the Kiddo started their own collection of photocards with some of their favorite groups, along with getting some BTS Jimin/Chimmy merch. The Korean gentleman running the pop-up was so fun and very kind! He spoke to everyone, danced with people, and was giving great discounts and “sneaking” us freebies with a wink and a “Shh!” like he was everyone’s Ahjeo-ssi (“uncle”) giving us candy.  Needless to say, those were two very stupendous and deeply-needed weekends! More of that joy, please.

🫰🏽Fangirling

Both categories so far have hit on this, but I shall say it plainly: I am loving being a fangirl again! I am loving diving into fun things, beautiful stories, amazing music, and stunning (and stunningly-talented) people. It is different now than when I was a teenager but I am having a stellar time nonetheless. Also, it is good for me!

In the abstract to her paper Fantastic: Exploring the Intermedial Productivity of the Fangirl, Innes Seggie of the University of Edinburgh presented the following to The Kyoto Conference on Arts, Media & Culture in 2024 (definition note: “affect” in this context refers to an observable emotional response or outward display of feeling): 

“Fandoms serve as a rich site to examine intermedial play in modern culture, with fans engaging with and creating new, media-hybrid products that honour, subvert, and/or expand source material. While the body serves as both site and tool for this work, such productivity is only considered valuable and legitimate if conducted by a certain type of body – one detached from emotion and non-threatening to white, heteronormative, ableist, patriarchal society. The fangirl has long been condemned as a bad cultural producer with bad taste, too emotional to engage with or create worthwhile products. However, I argue that the fangirl’s productivity challenges the assumed hierarchical divide between logic and emotion that dominates Western theory. Using my own affected [emotionally impacted] responses as a starting point and focusing on fan edits, choreography videos, and concert films in the BTS and Taylor Swift fandoms, I combine personal experiences of fandom with academic research to examine the impact intermedial play has on the fangirl as both consumer and creator. My approach applies recent intermedial theory to current fan studies research and feminist analysis in order to understand the 21st century viewer from a more encompassing, multimedia perspective. Additionally, this autoethnographic method demonstrates the value (and presence) of affect in academic work first-hand. This exploration ultimately concludes that the fangirl actively uses affect in fan productivity to articulate identity and build community and thus demonstrates the value of emotion and affect in rational thought as it is a fundamentally embodied process.”

So, if you find my fangirling offensive because I am apparently a whole grown woman in my forties, then, darling, I might dare to suggest that you stop finding me. Much love to you!

Otherwise, rejoice with me! It’s not just “fangirling” that is good for our collective well-being, development of self and community, and productivity, but fan engagement of any sort and by any gender. Example: my darling Ben is currently reliving his glory days of Nintendo with our new Switch 2 and his GameBoy-style emulator. I am encouraging it, because it brings him joy in a world that can so often grind him down. And, as I said before, we need more of joy. So go enjoy what you enjoy, love what you love, and fangirl away!

🫰🏽Gym Days

The Kiddo decided that they want to build their upper-body strength this summer, and, as they are now old enough to come as a guest on my membership, we have been making trips to the gym together about three times a week. I am also working on my health and fitness so it is nice to have a partner in that, at least for the summer months. We shall see how the Kiddo feels about continuing once the school year starts back up. But, for now, it’s great.

One day is for cardio, either on the treadmill at the gym or walking around the neighborhoods if the weather is good. Then, the other two days are for strength training. Kiddo has their favorite machines they like to work on, but I am also teaching them how to/making them use free weight exercises, as well as some machines that are very much not their favorites. It’s all a process, but I am glad to go on this journey with them with whatever guidance and partnership I can offer.

🫰🏽Mood Reading

I have been very “bouncy” with my books of late, shifting from one to another as my mood shifts. I’m usually reading two books at once, sometimes three. Right now, I am reading: The Other Bennet Sister by Janice Hadlow, Behind Five Willows by June Hur, and Break My Rules by Siena Hart, and they are all very different books. The first two are, funnily enough, both inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, one literally being a sequel of sorts to the story and the other a tale of censorship and social expectations set in Joseon Dynasty Korea. But I am enjoying giving myself permission and freedom to float around in my reading. I am not putting too much stock on how many books I finish this summer, but, rather, trying to just enjoy the ride of each day. If I read a lot, great. If I read a little, that’s also great. It is an enjoyment, not a job. A delight, not a designated task. I am trying to concentrate my summer days on relaxation and rejuvenation, not bragging rights. So far, that’s proven to be the right path for me. So I think I will walk it a little while longer.

As the summer deepens with the oncoming holiday and hotter weather, may you find those golden hour glimmers that are saving your lives, dear ones. And if anything I have noted here might be of help or joy to you, please feel free to steal it for yourself. Whatever enables you to live joyfully and presently in this world, enjoying what happinesses you can find for just what they are. As Becky Chambers wrote in her beautiful novel A Psalm for the Wild-Built: 

“You keep asking why your work is not enough, and I don’t know how to answer that, because it is enough to just exist in this world and marvel at it. You don’t need to justify that, or earn it. You are allowed to just live.”

🫰🏽 I hope that you can just live this summer, darlings. Take that drive, take that nap, enjoy an hour with your book or game or TV show, linger over that lunch or dinner with a friend, go see that movie you’ve been looking forward to. Just because it makes you happy. Go save your life this summer. 

What is Saving My Spring Life 2026🌸💮🌸💮

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As Spring traipses on its merry way, there are a number of things that are making it a beautiful new season for me (besides all the colors, of course).

🌸1.) Cherry Blossom scented anything. I totally forgot to go to the local Japanese gardens for the sakura blooming, but I am fully in love with anything that smells like cherry blossoms. I love the way the clean laundry fragrances rooms when I use the Downy Light Cherry Blossom scent booster in the wash. I adore how sweet the Forever Cherry Blossom body spray and lotion from Bath & Body Works makes my skin. I am enamored of just how springy a scent it is. It is like what the color pink would smell like, and I love it!

💮2.) Cups of coffee on a lazy Saturday morning. I adore mornings where I can wake up on my own and then take my slow, sweet time with my coffee and a book while the rest of the household sleeps or hurkle-durkles. I love letting my mind rouse itself with a good story, waking up my spirt as well as my body.

🌸3.) Handwriting. I have been re-discovering some of my favorite types of pens (currently, the Uniball Air and Tombow Fudenosuke Brush Pens) and writing longhand (such as the first draft of this post). One of my colleagues took a page of notes that I had taken during a meeting and said that it was like I had written her a missive from the Civil War. 😊I love my handwriting, personally. I adore how elegant it looks, smooth and fluid, unique even, and how delicately it suits my personality. It is really rather beautiful, if I do say so myself, to see my thoughts pour out onto paper so prettily through my pen, like my own special form of art.

💮4.) Using my local library resources, primarily the Libby app for digital books and audiobooks. I am very much enjoying getting books and audiobooks through Libby and supporting the resources of our local library. I am grateful to all the amazing librarians who give of their expertise and passion to share knowledge and imagination with our communities.

I also love sharing book recommendations with friends and colleagues. We have our own little bookish community at my school, and we spent a whole late-start free-meeting time recently talking about books, sharing recommendations and (in my case) physical books, and enjoying time together. I was surprised, stunned, and delighted to see that there are indeed so many of us bookish people in our school, beyond the obvious culprits, of course. It made me very happy to put three books into the hands of colleagues that day for them to enjoy over Spring Break. I feel such joy and pride when someone enjoys my recommendations, like I did something good for their heart and mind. My first compulsive book recommendation was Erin Morgenstern’s debut novel The Night Circus. It is still a book that I try to put into as many hands as I can, always having an extra copy to lend out or give as a gift. Along with this at the top of my list are:

  • Sue Monk Kidd’s The Book of Longings
  • Evelyn Skye’s The Incredible Kindness of Paper
  • Jaysea Lynn’s For Whom the Belle Tolls
  • Hwang Bo-Reum’s Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop
  • Ann Liang’s A Song to Drown Rivers
  • Lisa See’s Lady Tan’s Circle of Women
  • India Holton’s Dangerous Damsels and Love’s Academic series

I love sharing the joy of reading with others and showing them how amazing, enchanting, and soul-soothing and life-saving stories can be. It fills my soul as much as I hope it does theirs.

🌸💮🌸💮 As Spring moves forward, I am trying to concentrate on these beautiful glimmers of life and how much they fill and sustain me. I want to continue to embrace softness and gentleness while remaining strong, remembering that I–as a woman, as a person, as a being–can, and do, hold infinite worlds within me.

And so, too, do you, dear heart. 🌸💮🌸💮

Advent 2025 ~ Home

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Week 2 ~ Home

As Winter breathes her cold blessing over us, showering us with snow and ice, the silvery white of it makes the dark night glow and spangles the daylight air with diamonds. As beautiful as that all may be, however, there is something that many may consider even more so: the inside of their warm domicile. As winter settles in and makes herself comfortable, we in turn snuggle deeper into our spaces–our apartments, our houses, our homes.

Is it the warmth alone, though, that makes these spaces home? 

This is a question that I recently posed to my middle-school students, my Heroes as I call them: “What makes a place home for you?” The answers I received were very interesting.

For some, home is simply the place they live, the house or city they currently occupy,  the familiar and everyday.

For others, home is someplace else: a camp or a grandparents’ house where they always have a good time.

For others still, home is no one place. Rather, it is anywhere that they feel loved, accepted, and comfortable. Sometimes that home is a person or group of people with whom they can always feel safe and utterly themselves. No need to be perfect or strong or the life of the party. Home is where they can simply be.

That last type of answer is the one that resonates the most for me. I did not learn until I went to college that home for me is not a place. When I went off to school, I came to the realization that, yes, I missed the people that I love, but, no, I did not really miss the area that I had grown up in. And this is still true. There are things about Indiana that I vastly prefer to my Caribbean beginnings, such as the changing of the seasons (and no hurricanes). But, on the whole, I have come to learn that what makes places feel like home is the people that they hold for me. People who love me and whom I love. People who accept me but challenge me in the same turn. People who welcome me with love and laughter and to be fully myself. People who share and encourage my faith. People recognize that, though I choose kindness and softness, I am not a weak flower. I am a being with light under her skin.

Home is where that light glows warm, safe to blaze bright and brilliant. Home is the presence of those who have helped me find and cultivate that light and my sense of self. And I thank God for that every day. Home is a beauty and peace of feeling, of knowing that, with these souls, I matter, am significant, and belong. 

I hope you find your home this Holiday season and are able to rest in its beauty, comfort, and peace.

Re-starting the Fire

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Last night, my little family had our first cookout and fire of the autumn season. After hot dogs and smores were eaten, Kiddo went inside and left me and their dad to our drinks and apple pie Oreos by the firebowl. As the flames flickered and died down and the sticks within the bowl began to smoke, we just sat in contented conversation. Then, quietly and determinedly, the embers seemed to find fresh kindling, and the sweet orange flames began to lick up again, seemingly out of nowhere. But somewhere in that bowl, something touched an ember and re-started its fire.

I have felt that way over the past 24-36 hours. On Saturday, I ran to the bookstore in the search of a book that had caught my attention online and sounded just too sweet to be true. The cover instantly reminded me of another beloved favorite — Love Kindness by Barry H. Corey. So, successfully, I garnered a copy of, in fact, the sunshiniest book I have seen in a long while — The Incredible Kindness of Paper by Evelyn Skye.

And this book, from the opening page, like that quiet bit of kindling, reignited a fire within me. An old love that never quite went away but has fallen into quieter forms of late. The paper roses with their kindly messages that float throughout this novel reminded me of my own love for the spirit of encouragement. I used to go through life with a packet of pre-written notes in my purse to leave on tables, in books, on lockers, on bathroom mirrors, and coffeeshop counters. I was taught the gift of encouragement at my mother’s knee and gifted new ideas to expand upon it by lovely people like Hannah Brencher (Love Letters to Strangers). It was so wonderful to hear from folks in my little Indiana town that they had found one of my notes at the coffeeshop or the bank and had passed it on to someone else who they thought could use it. That is the entire point! Love is fullest when it is shared, after all.

Reading Evelyn’s beautiful story now, I feel my heart connecting to the FMC’s and her desire to encourage the world, and it has awakened a yearning in me to share love and kindness and encouragement widely again. Therefore, I am now armed with close to 30 notes with messages that I tried my best to follow my heart with. I left two in books at the grocery store already this afternoon, and I am looking ridiculously forward to leaving a few on random lockers around my school when we head back after the holiday weekend.

I want to devour the rest of this book like icy water on a hot day and bask in the refreshment for my spirit. And, at the same time, I want to take it piece by piece and savor the story with all its sunshiny sweetness in a world that so often is less so. Either way, though, I know I shall be blessed in the reading.

Thank you, Evelyn, in advance and, oh, so much! I can already tell that this is about to become one of my favorite stories.

Even in Those Dark and Messy Places

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My favorite children’s book about God is It Will Be Okay by Lysa TerKeurst. I have lost track of how many times I have read (and cried over) this book to my beloved child (and to myself) or how many times I have used its words to reassure them, “It will be okay, Little Seed.”

In the story, a little seed and a little fox become friends, living simple, happy lives in the farmer’s dusty shed and spending every day together. One day, the farmer comes along and takes Little Seed away for planting. He reassures Little Seed, as he presses it into the dirt, that he has a plan for it. Little Fox goes looking for Little Seed, remaining by their friend’s side in that dark and messy place, reminding them that they had not been abandoned. “It will be okay, Little Seed.” The Farmer had a plan.

When things get hard in life now, I often find myself repeating those lovely reassurances:

“It will be okay, Little Seed.”

“The Farmer is good and the Farmer is kind and He is always watching over us, even when we don’t know it.”

When my dear young Hero is frustrated with friend-drama at school: “It will be okay, Little Seed.”

When I am exhausted from life, I gently remind myself that “the Father is good and the Father is kind”.

It will be okay.

It may not be okay right now. This moment may be painful or heavy. But it will be okay. You have not been abandoned, and “Ugh” is still a prayer (Coffee with Jesus).

Luke 6:21b says, “Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”

Matthew 5:4 likewise assures us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

In His goodness and kindness, God has placed people in your life who will be that help, that comfort, that watching over. People who will also hear your “Ugh!” prayer and surround you with their love and support in those dark and messy moments. They are there, I promise.

You are not alone.

You have not been abandoned.

It will be okay.

A Blessing for the End of a First Week

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As this first week draws to a close…

May you collapse into the knowledge that you made it. May you rest in the realization that you did, and you can, do this. May you find comfort in the confession that you are glad it’s Friday. May you pass into the peace that, yes, you have definitely got this. Maybe not completely. Maybe not perfectly. But, yes, you’ve got this.

May your weekend rest be blest.

Joys in a Little Jar

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Last year for Mother’s Day, my darling kiddo made a gift for me in their class at school. They made a “jar of love”. Inside this little plastic jar are notes full of love and care from my child. I adore and treasure this little gift, in part because it reminds me of the notes that my own mother would give me as a kid and teenager. She would write them on calenders, in devotionals, on lunch notes, and daily prayer cards so I could always have them with me. Always have a reminder that she loves me deeply and dearly.

A few mornings ago, the little jar on my desk caught my eye, and I reached for it. I could use some love this morning, I felt. So I reached in and drew out one of the lovingly written-on scraps of paper and smiled as I opened it. It was doing its work even before I read it. I love this jar; I love the written evidence of love.

My husband endeavors to find meaningful, beautiful cards for me on special days or occasions. I love him for his effort in agonizing over “just the right one”.

My heart flutters excitedly when I get letters in the mail because I love seeing people’s souls in their handwriting.

Writing takes effort and effort translates into love for me. Even signing your own name with a pen these days takes extra effort in this digital society. I don’t care what your handwriting looks like (I teach grade school, don’t forget). The fact that you sat down and put pen to paper for me means more than can adequately express. It’s your mind and soul living on paper. Shimmering in glittery gel ink, swirling dramatically in chromatic fountain pigments, or calmly sitting in rounded ballpoint — your words live there, you are there, speaking to me from the page.

This little jar holds joy beyond compare for me, not only in the loving notes it holds but in the reminder of so many other notes, letters, and cards that have preceded them. Writings that have made my life full and memorable and made me feel remembered, seen, and loved.

The Edges of Mercy

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We often define mercy as giving someone better than they deserve. Dr. Barry H. Corey of Biola University wrote in his book Loving Kindness about having a “firm core with soft edges”. Edges that are givable, shapeable if mercy is needed, but that surround a solid, strong core of love and integrity. That is what teaching feels like at times, honestly: needing to have a solid core with soft edges.

When a student makes a poor judgement call, I have a choice about which edge I show that student: a sharp one or a soft one. At my core, I’m going to do what is best for my student, but how will I get them there? I can lambaste them for their poor decision and cut them to the quick with that sharp edge, filling the cut with shame. Or I can address their choice more softly, laying out the facts before them and the reality of their poor choice in a way that makes sense. I can let them see it how I and others see it, what it tells us about their core, and can hold them accountable in a way that hopefully helps to solidify and strengthen that core.

This is mercy. The chance to understand, learn, and try again–do better. Yes, mercy can be squandered, the chance refused, or the lesson ignored. But that choice is not my responsibility. My responsibility is to offer the mercy.

Mercy is challenging. Mercy is hard. Particularly, when the other person’s choice or action angers or hurts mercy. Mercy is often so hard because it involves us thinking about what will benefit the core of the other person, what will help them be better while still holding them accountable. That can be a difficult line to walk.

However, we are called by God to do justice and love mercy. Having a solid core with soft edges is where our merciful strength comes into play. I am hoping and praying that, as I continue into this year, I continue to solidify my core and soften my edges. The world we live in makes it so easy for edges to harden and sharpen, just to be able to survive in an environment that has become very harsh. As Vonnegut admonished: “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard.” Let’s love mercy and hold our firm core with soft edges so that we may welcome others in gently and help them strengthen their cores, too.

In Those Dark and Messy Places

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My favorite children’s book about God is It Will Be Okay by Lysa TerKeurst. I have lost track of how many times I have read (and cried over) this book to my beloved child (and to myself) or how many times I have used its words to reassure them, “It will be okay, Little Seed.”

In the story, a little seed and a little fox become friends, living simple, happy lives in the farmer’s dusty shed and spending every day together. One day, the farmer comes along and takes Little Seed away for planting. He reassures the seed, as he presses it into the dirt, that he has a plan for it. Little Fox goes looking for Little Seed, remaining by their friend’s side in that dark and messy place, reminding them that they had not been abandoned. “It will be okay, Little Seed.” The Farmer had a plan.

When things get hard in life now, I often find myself repeating those lovely reassurances:

“It will be okay, Little Seed.”

“The Farmer is good and the Farmer is kind and He is always watching over us, even when we don’t know it.”

When my dear little Hero is frustrated with friend-drama at school: “It will be okay, Little Seed.”

When I am exhausted from life, I gently remind myself that “the Father is good and the Father is kind”.

It will be okay.

It may not be okay right now. This moment may be painful or heavy. But it will be okay. You have not been abandoned, and “Ugh” is still a prayer (Coffee with Jesus).

Luke 6:21b says, “Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.”

Matthew 5:4 likewise assures us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

In His goodness and kindness, God has placed people in your life who will be that help, that comfort, that watching over. People who will also hear your “Ugh!” prayer and surround you with their love and support in those dark and messy moments. They are there, I promise.

You are not alone.

You have not been abandoned.

It will be okay.

A Letter to Becky Chambers

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Dear Ms. Chambers,

I do not know if I will ever find the words to adequately thank you. Even now they twist and twirl around my fingers, dancing around the keyboard, all too eager to have their say. But I will try to start with the most important ones.

Thank you! Thank you for Sibling Dex and Mosscap! I have not felt as seen as I did peering into Dex’s tender, aching soul. And I don’t mean tender as in “delicate” but as in sensitive from way too much chafing/bruising/strain. I know their struggle with their purpose versus their talent, for it is my very own. I am hip-deep in it, wrestling to figure out my steps between what I am good at and what I want to do with my life.

There were many moments in A Psalm for the Wild-Built and A Prayer for the Crown-Shy when I would read a paragraph or even single line and then have to put your lovely books down to just cry. You put words and honest yearning to a question that I have held in the depths of myself for years, fearing all it would be was misunderstood if I voiced it. Seeing that yearning and struggle embodied in Dex pierced my heart and I felt so known. This was also true when you wrote about the necessity of comfort and rest. I am a teacher. My exhaustion feels constant and bone-deep, as I am not often one to extend the gift of rest to myself. But your kind yet honest words wrung tears from me at that reassuring reprimand that without comfort and rest we cannot be successful physically (constructs) or mentally (unraveling mysteries).

For the past few months, I have held your little books close, thumbing through pages I have marked for those dear words, gentle reminders, and the kind touches of the characters. The moments of honest and encouragement between Dex and Mosscap stay with me, how they hold space for and often hold each other without ever touching. How you have held me as a friend without ever knowing who I am.

Thank you for the smiles, the tears, the laughs, and the tender touches you’ve lain upon my heart and soul through this books, Ms. Chambers. I cannot express my gratitude enough. I cannot wait for the next installment and, in the between time, I will undoubtedly return to your sweet stories to be encouraged and strengthened.

Blessings on you,

Melissa Snyder