love

For the Love of Sweet (Baked) Community

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At any point in time, there is usually one television show that I will go to for my background noise. Whether I am writing, working, cleaning, or just needing to relax, it’s a show that can just be a calming white noise in the back of my conscious attention. Currently, that show is the series of “The Great British Baking Show (Bake Off)” that is hosted by Netflix, which I think is series 5 or sommat (yeah, my partial Britishness is showing through). I LOVE this show! I kid you not, I have watched this one season of the show at least ten times through. I watched it when it aired on PBS originally and was delighted when it showed up on Netflix. It has become the one show that I will happily and consistently watch at any point in time. And I’ll probably make you watch it, too.

This past Christmas, I gave the American version of the show, “The Great Holiday Baking Show”, a fair shake but didn’t enjoy it nearly as much. Not by a long shot. Now, I could mark that to the fact that…well…British accents (English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish) just make anything better. But that would be a purely superficial reason. No. The reason that I love TGBBS is, I have discovered, because of the community and the way it is portrayed and shown. These people aren’t just contestants; these people are one big family, even though their number gets smaller week by week. They are fun, they are delightful, they are funny, they are supportive, encouraging, and helpful towards each other. They meet their challenges head-on and with high hopes (if there is groaning, grimacing, or grumbling, it is forgivingly on the cutting room floor), even if they have never heard of a princesstorte in their life (“Never seen it, never eaten it”) or if, at the end of an episode, they vow that they “will never wrap another pear in pastry again”. No matter what, they support each other. Each person who wins Star Baker is met with resounding applause and “well done’s”; those who have had a rough day are given support by their teammates (yeah, they call themselves a team, not competitors); and those who go home are met with hugs, “we’ll miss you’s”, compliments of their skill, and assurances that they will continue to make absolutely splendid creations in their future. Seventeen-year-old Martha, the youngest ever contestant on the show as of that particular season, was assured by Sue Perkins, upon her leaving the show, “you will rule the world, my darling”. And what seventeen-year-old doesn’t need to hear such confident encouragement and faith in them? And then, at the finale episode, everyone came back to cheer on the finalists and celebrate their success with them.

I love this! This…THIS is my heart for community! My heart for people, the vision of community that I am trying to foster and build in my life. A community of people–real, living, trying-their-best, imperfect people: family, friends, fellow hobbyists, peers. I want a world where we each do our best with the gifts that we have been given, where we encourage, cheer on, and clap for others even when they do better than we do, where we help each other through our stressful, difficult moments with no thought to ulterior motive, listen and/or offer comfort in mournful moments, and rejoice riotously with each other in our successes (and, yes, believe me, you will have them).

As Jen Hatmaker might say: for the love of sweet (baked) community, this is what I want! This is what life and love and relationship are about for me.

Defining My Work and Reputation

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At the 2015 Global Leadership Summit, one of the presenters was a gentleman by the name of Horst Schulze. Horst Schulze–a man of adorable demeanor, inspiring passion, and an endearing German accent–is the founding president and former COO of the Ritz-Carlton group and currently chairman and CEO of Capella Hotel Group. He is intensely passionate about what he sees as his mission: caring service in his industry.

“You are partially defined by the work you are doing and by the reputation of the company you work for.”

If I am defined by the work I am doing, then how am I defining myself and how am I affecting the reputation of One I work for? Is my life, my work, living up to the reputation of the God I claim to work for and serve?

Over the past few years, I have had some people tell me how surprised they are by my desire and determination to live out Jesus’ command to love God and love others. No rules or conditions, just to love. What dismays me is that this experience brings back to me again and again just what a reputation does the Christian religion have for people to be so surprised by a Christian choosing simply to love. For it to be such a surprise for me to try to meet people as they are and show kindness and grace and love, the same that has been shown to me. It’s obviously a reputation I don’t like. I don’t want the reputation that belongs to the religion. I want the reputation that belongs to Jesus. I want my work to define me as a lover of God and a lover of people. 

I shall try to see if I can put my other thoughts and musings from this past weekend into words but, for now, I think this is a good place to start.

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An Invitation

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My Dear Readers and Friends,

Today, as Christmas Eve dawns and grows, if you are finding yourself overwhelmed (or underwhelmed) by all that needs to be done/accomplished/achieved/experienced in this holiday season, I have a personal invitation for you.

Stop. Right here. Right now. Take a deep, full breath, and type “Me” in the comments. 

Here’s why: I would be more than happy to share a pick-me-up, word of encouragement, give you a virtual hug, a prayer, or just let you know: “Me, too”. I will not promise that it will fix everything but that is not my goal. My goal is simple: for you to know that you are not alone, my friend. Never alone.

Love and lots of hugs,

Mel

The Power of Permission | Scribbles

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I know that this piece was written with grief over a loved one’s death in mind, but I feel like it’s so poignant to many other situations of pain. I know that some of you, my dear ones, are hurting this holiday season or healing from the pains of this year, so I wanted to send this sweet reminder to you. You are loved, and it’s okay.

“Take a deep breath with me, sweet friend.

I need you to hear this.

It’s okay.”

Read more via The Power of Permission | Scribbles .

 

Actions for a Lifetime (Love Me as a Verb)

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Will you love me?Anne-of-Cleves-women-of-the-tudors-30491202-220-162

Will you trade your freedom for a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on for all of life?

For a heart to bear your burdens with you?

For a stalwart soul willing to stand in your defense and in belief of you?

For an equally strong mind to be your helpmeet through the storms?

Will you love me?

Will you cast aside the doubts that chip, the fears that chink at the armor we could forge together?

Will you let me see the parts of yourself that you hide away, and recognize the courage that it takes to show you mine?

Will you let me rule our world beside you? Will you let me share the burden of the sky upon your shoulders?

Will you seek me out rather than retreat in wrath? Will you reach for me rather than suffer tears alone?

Will you let me rejoice with you in glad times and mourn with you in dark ones?

Will let me rise alongside you to walk again, strong in ourselves and with each other?

Will you love me?

Will you let me love you?

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Author’s Note: This is the second piece that has been inspired by the ladies of the Tudor dynasty. The first “A Smile for a Kiss” was inspired by Mary Tudor, eldest daughter of Henry VIII, who would become Queen Mary. This one was inspired by the genteel Anne of Cleves, short time wife of King Harry (and many say the luckiest one). I can see her saying this to any who would offer marriage to her, as a true test of their understanding of who she is and what it would mean to love and be loved by her.

I’m rather enjoying this. Who next, I wonder? 

Yes, I Ask.

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Some people would probably say that a “good” Christian doesn’t question God. Well, if that’s the case, I’m fine with the “good” left permanently off any description of me as a Christian, because I most certainly do question God. However, it might not be in the vein that you are expecting. I don’t question God and cry out, “Why is this happening to me?” No. I did that before and I got my response, so that’s not a question I need answered anymore.

No, what I ask is: “Why is this happening to them?”

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NaBloPoMo Day 13: Walking Backward in Words

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Last night, as my husband was working on setting up his post-apocalyptic city in “Fallout 4”, I sat on the floor of the den by his couch and opened a particular box. This box holds the dearest of my correspondence. Letters, cards, and photos, precious pieces of memory from friends, family, and loved ones. Stacks are held together by pretty ribbon, several cards or letters sometimes set together in the same envelope to save space. But I was in search of one letter in particular; it is coupled together with a candid photo of me and the woman whom I call my mentor, my “Frodo”.

Of all the years that we have known each other and the times that she has written to me, this is the only letter I have left. The others are probably packed away somewhere else that I cannot recall. So this is the only letter of hers that I currently hold in my close possession, and it is the most precious to me. This was a letter written to me for my wedding day. At the time, Erin was a missionary in Malawi and unable to make it back for my wedding (which broke my heart a little, I admit), but she sent this letter on ahead of herself, with instructions that it wasn’t to be opened until the day of my marriage ceremony. So I waited.

When I rolled out of bed on the morning of July 22, 2006, I reached over to the nightstand, where this letter sat waiting atop my journal. I opened it tenderly and devoured the words inside. It is two pages of plain paper, covered in words written in her lovely hand, and I could hear my beloved Adona’s (what equates to “Bosslady” in Chichewe) voice rising from those words to meet my ears. Even more so, though, I could feel her voice in my heart.

She wrote: “I wish you nothing but joy, Melissa, this day and always. I wish you trials and hard times to challenge you and Ben together. I wish you the simplicity of the moment. I wish you a grand adventure together, laughing, crying, and truly knowing each moment. For these things, and above all else for awareness of His Presence. I will continue to bathe you and Ben in prayer. And it is precisely these things for which I have no doubt — you will find them. You always have, since that first day I laid eyes upon you, and I saw a heart full of love and a life full of potential.”

This is an opinion of me that I have striven to live up to for the past, not only for Erin’s sake but for mine. To be the woman God created me to be, to show to others the love that He showered on me through Erin and other dear ones who have made such an impact on my life for so much the better. Erin saw what God was endeavoring to build in me long before I ever did and she guided me into ministry opportunities that have influenced me ever since.

Over the past almost-ten years, Ben and I have indeed had joys and trials, laughter and tears, and God has never left our sides, even when were stubborn and tried to do things on our own or our way. He has always been there, arms open to us and holding us tightly. And we have only just begun.

I sat and read and cried. I remembered and thanked God for my friend who, though still farther away than I would like, has done and continues to do so much good in my life. For her letter that got a beautiful day off to a memorable and tender start. And for her prayers that continue to follow and cover me day in and day out.

NaBloPoMo Day 11: Solid Words to Live By

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As I have gone through life, I have found that there are several quotes and axioms and Scriptures that have resurfaced or repeated time and time again, often extremely pertinent, relevant, and poignant to just what I was experiencing at the time. Several of these have come to form cornerstones for me and the way I live my life. What I will include here are four of those soul foundations.

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NaBloPoMo Day 6: No One but “Mister”, No One But “Missus”…

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Next year,  I will have been married for ten years. My husband and I have learned a great deal about each other, yet there is still much to learn. Ben works extremely hard each and every weekday (and Sunday) to make sure that I not only have what I need but that I have the means to get what I want. He frequently asks if I am okay and if he can help me if I seem stressed or tired (which is far more frequently than I like to admit). He continues to endeavor to learn my love languages and surprises me with little gifts now and again. He encourages me, tells me how proud he is of me, how glad he is that I am in his life.

I try to keep aware of Ben’s moods, ask if he is OK, if there is anything I can do to help when he is not. I endeavor to support him, uplift him, and encourage him through his teaching and pastoring work. I remind him all the time that I love him deeply and dearly, I am here because I choose to be here, want to be here, and I am not going anywhere.

We call each other helpmeet because that is what we are to each other: we are not only doing life together, we are helping each other through it, supporting and each holding the other up through times of life that are rough. We understand that there are periods of life when one will carry a higher percentage than another. Mine was when Ben was injured in a car wreck, his ankle in a splint/cast and him on crutches/a cane for four months. When I was pregnant, Ben took on a higher percentage of everything in life. Since having our daughter, he has taken on being the sole breadwinner for our family for the first few years of her life as I have been at home with her. We understand that there are periods of life when one will carry a higher percentage than another. However, that does not stop us from being grateful and wanting to make sure that we are doing whatever we can to help each other.

We have walked this road together for almost ten years. We are still growing, still learning each other as we age and grow and change along with life. We have made a great beginning together, I believe, and I am looking forward to the rest of our lives together.

Green top, black pencil skirt, and black fascinator 2